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“Got you some of this,” he said, holding up a pink bottle. “Might help your stomach.”
“Oh, thanks.” It was sweet of him to try, but she knew it wouldn’t help. “Mark…” she began. Then he glanced at her with his loving dark eyes.
“Yes?”
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
MARK WAITED FOR Laura to finish her thought. She seemed anxious all of a sudden, nervous even as she fidgeted with the hem of her T-shirt. What was the big news? Mark felt his muscles tense. Was she telling him she was leaving?
He knew at some point, she’d have to go home, and with the rescheduled race in just a couple of days, he knew it shouldn’t be that much longer before she’d break the news to him. How much longer could she live on savings? She’d now moved into his condo, giving up the rent on hers, but still. She’d have to think about her financial future soon. But he wasn’t ready to hear it. He might never be ready.
“Is it bad news?”
She hesitated. “It might be.”
“Then, why not tell me while we walk,” he said, not quite sure he wanted to hear bad news. Not yet. Not when the race was in front of them, not when it was such a gorgeous day outside.
She nodded, and when he took her hand, she let him as they walked outside into the bright sunshine. Mark kicked off his flip-flops, and since Laura was already barefoot, they proceeded to the warm sandy beach.
The ocean ran up on the beach, leaving a trail of sudsy white water. Their feet sank in the wet sand, leaving footprints behind them. Mark held Laura’s hand, feeling her soft, delicate skin, thinking not for the first time how well they fit together in all ways. He never would’ve thought there’d be a woman out there so perfectly made for him, but Laura was it. Suddenly, he badly didn’t want to hear her news. Her news that she’d be leaving him.
She didn’t seem to want to tell him what was on her mind, either.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked her, staring at the sea. She nodded.
“What’s it like? On the wide-open ocean?”
Mark glanced at her. “Like you’re the only person on earth. Like everyone and everything has fallen away and it’s just you and the water. Sometimes, it feels like… I don’t know. This is going to sound silly.”
“What?”
“That you’re closer to God.”
Laura squeezed his hand. “That’s not silly.” She glanced up at him and her bright green eyes caught the sun, bringing out the gold flecks in them. Her cheeks glowed. In fact, her whole face glowed. How was it possible she got prettier every day? He bent down and kissed her then, lightly on the lips.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too,” she replied and she leaned into him. He put his arm around her shoulders and they both looked out at the sea. It went on farther than the eye could see.
“In a couple of days, we’ll be racing on that,” she said.
“Yes.” And afterward, you’ll leave me. But why was he feeling sad? Wasn’t he planning to leave her first and sail around the world? But…then again, why couldn’t she come along?
The idea popped into his head and he felt like smacking himself. Why hadn’t he just thought of an easy solution?
“Laura, there’s something I want to talk about with you, too,” he said, hoping to cut off her bad news.
She pulled away from his side. “Yes?”
“You know that all I’ve ever wanted to do since Timothy died was sail around the world. I even…I even wasn’t sure I wanted to come back.”
She nodded, shading her eyes from the sun. Suddenly, Mark’s palms started to sweat. What if she said no?
“But now, I think I want that trip to be different. I don’t want it to just be me and Timothy’s ghost.”
Laura froze, staring at him.
“Would you…consider coming with me? Just you and me? A year on a boat?” Hope swelled in his chest as he looked at her. Say yes, he willed her. Say yes. “If we win, the winnings will pay for it. If they don’t, I can somehow support us. You won’t have to worry about a thing.”
Laura looked surprised, then happy and then, inexplicably, sad.
“Mark. I wish I could…”
Suddenly, the hope that had been growing in his chest felt flattened like a delicate daisy crushed beneath a steel-toed work boot. He almost didn’t want to hear what came next. Whatever it was would just be an excuse to cover up the fact that she didn’t care about him as much as he cared about her. A commitment of a year seemed too much, he saw with perfect clarity. She wasn’t ready to give him a year.
