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But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Over ten years older than her, he’d lived his life whereas she was just starting hers. He would be a burden. Too old, too responsible, too…everything. She deserved more than what he could give her.
She looked much the same now as she had on the ride over to the restaurant, though she sat in the passenger seat next to him. Her expression once again pensive, her gaze locked on the window as the city passed them by. She’d said not a word since they’d piled into the car. Even Matty was quiet in the backseat, talking softly to himself, his imagination fueling him on.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” she asked, her soft, seductive voice breaking the silence, making him achingly aware of her nearness, her soft, floral scent.
“We should wait until we get home.” He flicked a glance at her, saw that she was studying him, her lips tight. She looked angry, though over what he couldn’t be sure.
“No, I’d rather talk about it now. If you don’t mind,” she hastily added, her expression contrite.
“Paige.” His voice was overly stern and he knew he sounded like he was her father. But he couldn’t help it. “Not now.” He flicked his head in Matty’s direction. Speaking of the upcoming trip in front of his son would only lead to endless questions and nonstop anxiousness on Matty’s part. He wouldn’t know they were leaving until the morning they got on the plane if Matteo had his way.
“Fine.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her lips formed in a little pout. Angry and sexy as hell with it. He didn’t know what had set her off, but he’d never seen Paige so defiant.
Was he a pig if he admitted he liked that little show of defiance?
The moment they arrived home, Paige was ushering Matty to his room, helping him change into his pajamas before urging him into the bathroom to brush his teeth. The hour was late, Matty was tired and whiny about it too, but Paige kept on him. Her sweet, lilting voice never filled with anger, was always encouraging and kind as she helped him along.
Matteo heard smacking noises come from within his son’s bedroom a few moments later and he knew Paige was smothering Matty with kisses, the sound of his son giggling with joy touching Matteo’s heart. He stopped in the doorway, watching as Paige tucked Matty into bed. The scene was quaintly domestic. He could almost imagine Paige as the mother of his child. Sweet and loving, indulging their son in his every whim, she would always be gracious, always with a smile on her face.
But Paige wasn’t his son’s mother. The greedy, never-happy bitch he’d married was forever Matty’s mother, though she’d hardly looked twice at their son when she’d been alive.
Thinking of Lucia made his chest hurt. Thinking of the way Lucia neglected their son filled him with inconsolable rage. He wondered what she’d be like now, if she were still here. Would she have finally come around? Or would she still be locked up in her room, doped up on prescription medication? Or out shopping with her bitchy friends, spending all of his money on useless crap?
Guilt swamped him. She was dead. He thought of her as a cold, unfeeling bitch, and the poor woman was dead. He was a complete ass for thinking of her this way.
“Do you want to say goodnight to Matty?”
He breathed deep, pulled himself from his thoughts. Paige stood by Matty’s bed, her expression unreadable as she watched him. “Of course,” he answered as he slowly entered the room.
Approaching the bed, he bent over where Matty lay, dropping a soft kiss to his son’s forehead and ruffling his hair. “Goodnight, son.”
“’Night, Daddy.” Matty reached up, looping his arms around Matteo’s neck and they embraced, Paige standing to the side of the bed close by.
Again with the realization of how domestic this moment was. If Matteo didn’t know any better, he’d think he actually wanted to be domesticated by Paige. After swearing he would never marry again, the idea of coming home to this woman day in and day out held a certain—if not forbidden—appeal.
They left the room together, walking down the hall side by side toward the living area, both of them silent. His thoughts were a jumble. He needed to figure out how to best approach her with his suggestion. Would she think he was being too forward, asking her to accompany them on such a trip? He had no lewd intentions behind wanting her there. Not really. Matty needed a nanny. He couldn’t do it all alone considering this was a working vacation, and he didn’t expect his mother to step in completely either, though she would be glad to.
Damn it, if he was being honest with himself, he needed to admit he wanted Paige there. Not to be a nanny to his son, but because he liked having her around.
