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I blushed. "You have to work tonight. I'm so sorry."
"No worries. I'll get better tips. Men don't look like they've tangled with a hellcat if they're bad at what they do." He winked again.
"Well, you know, if it helps, you should come over after work and I'll give you some more." This time I thought it was Kieran who was going to choke on his coffee. That gave me some perverse sense of satisfaction. "I mean, in the name of your career. I like helping my friends."
"You could help the shit out of me," Kieran said.
His words slammed into me. What was I supposed to do with that? Was this part of our usual banter, or did he mean it? I shook my head, maybe because I thought if I rattled my brain around enough, something might start making sense. Before I decided I wanted Kieran, I never would have questioned that. So why start now? Suddenly wanting him wasn't some kind of alchemy that could change what always was or wasn't between us.
"I guess you could take a number and get in line." I decided to play it off.
April looked hurt, but Brant just smirked. "You haven't got the skills to elicit that kind of reaction. Boy-o." He tossed Kieran's Irish affectation back at him. "Give it as many tries as she'll let you."
I liked his confidence. I could tell from the way he held himself, the look on his face, everything about him said that he wasn't talking shit—that he believed what he said.
"Riddle me this," April interjected. "What's it like when you two have sex? I'm trying to picture it and the only thing that comes to mind is a Chihuahua trying to mount a Great Dane."
Her words were a barbed arrow that struck home for me, but Brant was singularly unfazed.
He snorted. "A Chihuahua? Have you ever heard yourself?" Brant then mimicked the sounds we'd heard last night coming from Kieran's room. He yipped, barked, and sounded an ineffectual little howl that did indeed sound like a Chihuahua that had been taking hits from a helium tank.
"Fuck you, Brant." April poured herself a refill.
"Not if you paid me." The retort was quick, sharp and from the look on her face, had obviously struck home much as her words had done to me. "So, you guys want to get breakfast?" He changed the subject.
"I could go for a steak. How about you, Taco Bell?" Kieran looked at April. "You want some breakfast?"
For a second, I wondered if I heard him correctly. If he'd just called her Taco Bell in reference to the little Chihuahua mascot the chain had once had.
Instead of being pissed, she blushed. "Yeah, I guess."
"Get your ass in gear." He swatted her ass and she scurried off to put on something besides his t-shirt.
I hated her in that moment. Not just because she was wearing his shirt, but that was a contributing factor. No, actually, it wasn't. I was jealous, to be sure, but I couldn't be angry at two people who fucked because they wanted to. Neither of them owed me fidelity.
But what April did owe me was friendship. Not even something so trite as Girl Code, but Friend Code. She knew how self-conscious I was about being with someone smaller than me. She knew it, and she used it against me because the guy she wanted was giving his attention to me instead of her.
Even though she was the one he'd fucked last night. She was the one in his bed. She was the one wearing his t-shirt. She was the one who had what I wanted.
Brant finished his coffee in one swallow. "I'm going to get dressed. Don't take too long with that coffee. I can buy you another."
"Yeah, but you made this one for me. So I want this one."
"If you tore up my back like that, I'd make you coffee every day." Kieran grinned.
"You had your chance, Oirish." Brant mocked him, but clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Snooze you lose." He wandered back toward my room leaving us alone.
"I guess last night went really well," Kieran said.
What to say? I usually told him everything, but I couldn't tell him this. Not what I really felt about any of it. "Yeah, I guess it did. You were right. Brant is a nice guy."
"You deserve a nice guy." He nodded. "Gavin went home with Rosa."
"No shit?" I couldn't picture that. Not after the things he'd said about me being pretty for a fat girl. Rosa was the same size as me. Gorgeous, but not skinny. Not traditionally beautiful, as I'd come to say.
"Yeah. I bet that's going to be an awkward morning."
"Probably no more awkward than this one. It's a little weird, you have to admit."
"Nah." Kieran shook his head. "It'd be weird if we'd had a foursome. That's when it gets awkward."
I was determined not to blush. Although, I wasn't sure if I succeeded or not. "I don't see that happening."
