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“Lydia, tell me the truth. Did Hayden hurt you?”
“No,” I cried.
“I have to go dad.”
“Lydia, I will catch a cab and show up at your house.”
He doesn’t know Hayden and I don’t live together anymore.
“Dad, Hayden and I didn’t work out,” I sniffled.
“But, I’m ok. I’m back at my apartment. I’m studying. Dad, I will tell you everything just not today. If it makes you feel better Karena is coming over later,” I lied.
He exhaled. “Yes, it does. You might not want to hear it now, but you and Hayden will be fine give it some time.”
“Ok, dad. I love you.”
“Love you too, Lydia.”
I disconnected the call, falling into a heap in the middle of my bed. My aching heart couldn’t take much more. I only thought about me and Hayden. I missed how he stared into my gray eyes. I missed how he kissed me. My arms wrapped around me instinctively, wishing Hayden was holding me in his arms. I missed my husband desperately. All the times he vowed to keep me safe warmed my heart.
It was Tuesday. I forgot to go to school. I didn’t even care I was graduating soon nothing mattered. Why does it hurt so bad? I wish I would have never fallen in love. I wouldn’t have to endure this pain. I hate being without Hayden. I wish this was some fucked up dream. Instead, it’s my reality. My short marriage is over. My husband never called nor came to see if I was still living. I felt like I was near death. I hadn’t eaten in days. I stewed in my own stench. Karena called repeatedly trying to get me to answer the phone. I lived off water and bread. That’s all I could stomach. The thought of eating anything with substance made my stomach churn.
“Lydia! Lydia!” I heard someone calling my name. The voice was familiar.
I was undressed and placed into a hot bath. I rested my head against the wall.
“Lydia, please eat.”
He forced soup into my mouth.
“I knew something was wrong when you didn’t come to school for two weeks. Don’t you worry. I’m going to take good care of you.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
HAYDEN
The night I lost Lydia. I cut myself off from the world. I was forced to rid myself of my drug of choice, cold turkey. The withdraws were dark and gritty. The entire condo was dark. I drew the heavy green curtains over all the windows.
I was having conversations with myself. “Why did I take it so far? Was there another way I could have gotten her to understand? I did what I did, so we could be happy.” I sipped from the bottle of red wine.
“Nope, nope. She was too stubborn.”
Sitting in the middle of the floor between the living room and my bedroom. I cried like a fucking baby.
“She was all I ever wanted!” I bellowed from the depths.
“I can’t go on without her.” I fell back against the cold floor, cradling my face. My body quaked when I realized I would never see her again. She told me she wanted a divorce. My heart was in agony. She told me she never wanted to see me again.
“Lydia! Lydia! I can’t live without you.”
My father would probably tell me, ‘You’re young. You’ll find love again.’
Lydia Gaster is my first and last love. My only true love. Our kiss we first shared is growing faint in my mind. I can’t let it die. I have to hold onto that memory. I can still feel her beating on my chest. Yelling at the top of her lungs that she hates me. That was the moment I checked out. I walked away never looking back at the woman who broke the silver chains around my frozen heart causing it to beat until it was red and full of love for her. I don’t know how I will ever get over Lydia. I can’t. In my mind she is mine forever.
“Hayden! Where are you?”
“Lydia, Lydia is that you? I’m here,” I whispered.
The room filled with light, I shielded my eyes like a vampire.
“Oh, my God! Hayden what happened to you?” she cried.
She pulled me into her arms. “Hayden, come back to me. I’m so sorry. Please, Hayden I’m here. I’ll make this right I promise.”
When I came to. Cold water pelted my naked skin.
“Please, come quick!” she shouted into the phone.
“Yes, Valen he’s waking up. Thanks to me.” She ran her fingers through her frizzy brown hair, pacing back and forth.
