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“He makes me happy.”

“I can see that,” Mom replies without a single hint of judgment. “I’m not saying you have to stop. I’m just asking you to recognize the power you have over him. He would walk through fire to be with you. If you’re not ready or willing to do that for him, it’s not fair to keep stringing him along as if you might eventually be. He’s been through enough heartache this year. He doesn’t need any more. Okay?”

I swallow hard through the ache building in my throat. “Okay.”

My mother’s words nag at me all morning.

While it’s freeing not to keep Joshua a secret from her anymore, I can’t ignore that she might have a point.

It’s one thing to tell myself Joshua knew what he was getting into from the beginning. That doesn’t mean he isn’t hoping for more.

Do I want more?

I haven’t even allowed myself to consider the possibility, not when I’m still technically married to Wyatt.

Am I being selfish by continuing down this path with Joshua when I can’t give him all of me?

After all, that’s what he deserves. Not someone who can only give him a part of who she is. But a woman who can give him every last part of her heart.

Right now, that’s not me. It won’t be until I’m no longer married to Wyatt. Hell, I’m not sure I’ll be ready to give him that even after my divorce is finalized.

“Okay, friends.” Miss Kayla, my pole dance instructor, pulls me out of my thoughts. “Let’s practice some floor poses before we move to the pole.”

I join the rest of the women on the mats, feeling much more comfortable with the class than I did the first time Hilde dragged me here. It’s become part of my daily routine, even after Hilde went back to Houston.

While I’m still in the beginner class, Miss Kayla has told me I’m ready to move up to the next level.

I haven’t.

In my mind, this is something fun to do while I’m in town for the holidays. Why move up when I’m leaving at the beginning of the year?

Do I want to leave, though?

The mere thought of going back to Houston makes my stomach churn. The life I once knew in Texas doesn’t seem like my life anymore. More like something that belongs to a character I once read about.

But it is my life. I need to go back and end this chapter with Wyatt. Then I can finally move on to what’s next.

I follow Miss Kayla’s instructions and arrange my body in the Pin-Up Girl position before transitioning into the Side Pin-Up Girl with one leg extended along the pole. I’ve done this same routine so many times I could probably do it blindfolded by now.

But when I shift into a Full Bridge, lifting myself onto my hands and feet with my back curved and my head hanging, my stomach rolls. I drop to the mat and suck in a breath. And another. And another.

“Are you okay?” Miss Kayla asks quietly, crouching beside my mat.

I nod quickly, not trusting myself to open my mouth without vomiting. Carefully rising to my feet, I slip out of the studio and hurry toward the locker room.

I barely make it into a stall before my stomach empties into the toilet. But even when there’s nothing left in me, my stomach keeps roiling. Maybe there’s a bug going around.

Eventually, I feel well enough to stand. After flushing the toilet, I stumble toward the sinks and splash some cold water onto my face. It does nothing. I still feel like hell.

“Are you okay?”

I glance up as another woman from class steps out of a stall, her eyes meeting mine through the mirror.

“Probably just something I ate.” I force my body straighter as I towel the water off my face.

“Or you could be pregnant.” She laughs as she disappears through the door. “Hope you feel better soon.”

I feign amusement as I turn to the mirror, my pale reflection staring back.