Page 48
“Ask me one more question and you can forget about the sword-fighting lessons.”
She pursed her lips and lifted her chin. He hated to see her like that—confused, angry, her shoulders tense instead of holding her head high—and he was the reason for her pain.
But he had no choice. He should have never initiated anything with her, but oh Freyja and Frigg, that had been impossible. Cathy had brought him the joy and comfort his soul had craved. And once he had tasted it, he had wanted more. And he did not deserve more.
They gathered the last of their things, and once the horse was saddled they mounted it, Cathy in the back, hugging him, her warm body pressed against his.
The day was sunny and cold, and as the woods and the hills passed by, Andor felt Cathy’s tension behind him, and the silence between them was heavier than ever before. When they stopped for rest right after midday, he could have cut the tension with an ax. Cathy clearly had much to say, and she fumed, keeping her anger behind sealed lips.
They ate in silence, and Andor watched as she rubbed her palms in front of the fire. He wished he could cover them and warm them with his breath.
“Let us train and be on our way.” He rose to his feet and picked up his sword.
Cathy rose, too, and stood in the position he had taught her. “Let me make a deal with you.”
“A deal?”
“Yes. I’m tired of your silent ass running away. I know you feel guilty. I do, too. I feel like I’m letting Brad down. And I think you feel something similar, but you refuse to face those feelings.”
He gripped his sword tighter. Her words echoed against the door that shut out the ghosts, and they began clawing to be set free.
“What is the deal?” he said through gritted teeth.
“You fight me. Do not hold back. If you win, we continue in your cowardly, running away manner. If I win—you know, scratch you or unarm you—we sit and talk. No holding back.”
“Do you fully understand what you just did?”
“I believe I challenged you.”
Inside, fury filled him with something that resembled the roar of fire. “You called me a coward.”
She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin.
“And I stand by my words. You may physically be the strongest man I’ve ever met. But inside, you refuse to face whatever is haunting you. Bring it on, Andor. I look forward to kicking your silent ass.”
Run!
He could not possibly harm a woman. Not the woman who—
Who what? He had vowed to protect?
Wrong.
Who could not protect herself?
Probably wrong.
Who he felt responsible for?
Andor’s mouth tightened.
Right.
He clenched his fists.
Honesty always came with a price. He should not feel responsible. He had been clear with Cathy from the beginning.
And yet, why was he feeling everything he had forbidden himself to feel?
