Page 47
The grass they were training on was frosted, but it had melted where the morning sun already touched it. The rhythmical ring of metal against metal disturbed the peaceful gurgling of the stream behind him.
It had been their morning ritual for the past five days on the road. Before they continued their journey, he would train her until he thought her muscles had learned the new movements. When they stopped for a midday meal and to let the horse rest, he would resume teaching her.
Before sword-fighting, he would watch her do her yoga routine, and wish he could join her. But he would walk away because even watching her brought a sense of peace and connection with himself, which made him turn towards the ghosts he so desperately avoided.
Now, he could not walk away, and he could not stop making love to her every night. Sleeping outside during winter, they needed to keep warm, and the best way to do that was lying together. Which he happily did. Daily, he promised himself he would no longer indulge. He was stepping into dangerous territory, caring about her too much. If something happened and he failed to save her, he would not be able to live with himself.
But his body did not care. As soon as her beautiful arse was pressed against him, as soon as the scent of her hair touched his nostrils, his body reacted, and the need to be with her, to plunge into her depths rang louder than the screams of his soul.
And he gave in.
Every night he had her, and she took him willingly.
And now…
Maybe his strikes rang too loud. Maybe he landed his blows too strongly.
But she could take it.
Her arms were strong, and she had learned the movements quickly. Maybe it was all the body work that she was used to doing daily, but Andor was surprised to find that there really was a shield-maiden or a Valkyrie in this woman.
“Ouch!” she screamed as the tip of his sword pierced her shoulder.
He clenched his jaws, resisting the urge to come to her aid. If she was a warrior from his band, or anyone else, he would just laugh it off with them. But now he hated himself for causing her the slightest amount of pain. He needed to stop these feelings.
“Injuries are expected during training.”
She massaged her shoulder. “Still, I barely deflected you.”
Andor spun around and looked at the road which lay fifty feet or so away. “You wanted to train. This is training. We have been lucky these past days, but that luck may end after the next turn of the road. We are nowhere near Jorvik.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, do you think I’ve made progress, at least? You’ve never said if you think I’m doing all right. You either scold me or keep quiet.”
He looked at her big, pretty, hopeful eyes, a shadow of pain in their depths. She was very good. But saying so would make it worse between them. If he wanted to keep his distance, he needed to keep that to himself.
“The enemies will be the judges of that, not me.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot, uneasy with where this conversation might be leading them. “Let us be on our way. That is enough for today.”
“Wait. You’ve been so distant lately, ever since that night. I thought…there was something between us, but is it only sex? I can’t seem to help my body’s response. But I feel like I’m betraying Brad. Every time we sleep together, I feel more ashamed. Especially when you’re so cold to me afterwards.”
This was exactly what he was trying to avoid.
Run.
“No, Cathy. I will not talk about this.”
“Why?”
He turned around and walked to their makeshift camp.
“Because it would be talking about this.”
He began saddling the horse. He heard Cathy approach behind him.
“But I do want to talk about it. If you feel as guilty as I do—”
He turned to her, his heart raging in his chest. “I said no.”
“But we keep having sex and then you’re like this. I want to know why. Did I do something?”
