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“You were just what?” Nev asked, sounding intrigued.

I cleared my throat, struggling to think of what to say without humiliating myself. Desperate. Needy. Writhing around on top of him like I was the slutty cowboy.

“Overcome,” I said after a long pause, then cringed. “I mean overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed. It was just… a lot.”

Mind-blowing. Life-altering. It had felt like my head was going to explode. And then he’d literally removed his own head to drink down our cum at the same time.

I let out a shaky breath, anxiously spinning my cup on the counter and spilling coffee everywhere. Grabbing a paper towel, I cleared my throat again.

“Anyway,” I said, trying to make my voice firm. “He’s still a turd.”

“I mean, yes, he’s definitely still a turd for ‘coming and going,’ so to speak, but…” Nev hesitated. “Now that we’ve realised he didn’t know the significance of the—”

“Hey, woah, hold on.” I frowned as I mopped up the spilled coffee. “We don’t know that for certain. I still think he was lying to save face. He’s only ever seen me date women before, so why would he think I’ve also been hooking up with guys this whole time?”

“You’re a relationship guy, Rafe. Not a hookup guy,” Nev said patiently. “It’s not like you’ve ever had a lot of people spend the night at your place. He probably just assumed you’ve happened to only date women since he’s lived next door.”

My frown deepened as I dumped the soiled paper towel in the trash.

“Plus… I mean…” Now Nev sounded a little hesitant. “You did try to kiss him. And told him you’d been humping your mattress over him. If you never actually mentioned the fact that you only recently realised you’re queer, I… kind of understand why he didn’t come to that conclusion himself.”

I pursed my lips. What Nev was saying made sense, but I didn’t fucking like it.

I wanted to stay angry, damn it.

“Traitor,” I muttered.

“I’m just—” Nev sighed. “I’m just trying to look at the facts here. You started watching him suck his own D at night. You got off to it. You then told him both those things and tried to kiss him. If a dude did that to me, my first thought would not be, ‘This is all brand new to him.’”

I clenched my jaw, despising how rational Nev was being, then blurted, “Whatever. He’s still a d-bag for taking off before his dick had even finished going down.”

“Oh yeah, he absolutely is,” Nev agreed. “But we’ve established that he’s a fuckboy. It’s obviously his MO. The hit it and quit it. The pump and dump.”

“I get it,” I grumbled.

“The fuck and chuck. Breed and bail.”

I choked on a breath. “Breed?”

“My point is, I don’t think it was personal. It’s just what he does.”

My shoulders sagged as I ran my finger along the counter. “Yeah.” Mouth twisting, I hoarsely admitted, “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not,” Nev said firmly. “He kissed you. It progressed from there. These things happen.”

“But I knew he was a fuckboy.”

“It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and not consider things like that.”

“I guess,” I muttered sullenly.

“And… I mean, if it’s any consolation… he seemed really determined to find out why you’ve been avoiding him, bro.”

My mouth twisted again as I turned to lean back against the counter. Automatically, I glanced out the kitchen window at the fence separating my yard from Ewen’s. It was Thursday morning, which meant I didn’t have to go into work until later. But I wondered if Ewen was already there, rehearsing for the show.

Eventually, I just grunted.

“Sooo…” Nev continued, “maybe he isn’t viewing what happened as a one-time-thing. Maybe he’s hoping for more.”