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Exhaling, I turned and walked quietly off his porch, wiping my hand on the hem of my shirt. I’d already been such an asshole to him. I couldn’t be even more of one by hammering on his front door late at night, demanding he talk to me.

I got why he didn’t want to talk to me now. Why he was pissed at me.

I was pissed at me too. My momma would definitely be pissed at me if she knew what an insensitive tool I’d been. She’d raised me to be a gentleman.

Which I was. Most of the time. Sometimes I definitely wasn’t, but not in situations like this. I didn’t make a habit of steamrolling over the important and meaningful moments in people’s lives without acknowledging them or their feelings.

But that was exactly what I’d done to Rafe.

I felt like shit when I got back inside my house. I felt restless. I wanted to go and fix things with Rafe now, apologise and get us back on track to becoming friends, but I knew I couldn’t. Yet.

Despite the late hour, I considered calling Vince to talk about it, just so I wasn’t sitting here with my thumb up my ass. I knew he’d be up—he didn’t sleep much. When I’d moved in here and seen that my neighbour was a ghoul like him, I’d assumed Rafe was the same, which was why I’d never really thought about how loud I was at night.

Fuck. I really had been a dick neighbour.

I couldn’t talk to Vince about it anyway, I realised glumly as I wandered into my kitchen to wash my hands. I was pretty sure Rafe would be furious if he found out I’d told anyone what had happened, and besides, it wasn’t my business to share. I’d already inadvertently caused Rafe’s friend to accidentally out him. Which just cemented my dick status even more.

And Neville was definitely going to tell him about our conversation. There was no way he wouldn’t. Fuck. I had a goddamn mountain to climb if I wanted to get Rafe to ever like me.

Good thing I was a determined bastard.

Emphasis, it seemed, on the ‘bastard.’

Chapter Twenty-Two

Hot Dog Hooligans

Rafe

“You threw an egg at him?” I asked Nev in disbelief the next morning on the phone.

He’d just finished telling me about his encounter with Ewen after he’d left my place last night, and I had no idea what to make of any of it.

“It just happened, man. I saw the eggs. I couldn’t stop myself,” Nev said. “I was mad.”

Despite how unsettled I felt after hearing about their conversation, I snorted, an affectionate smile twisting my mouth. “Thanks for defending my honour.”

“Anytime, bro.” Nev hesitated. “Rafe, I really am sorry for basically telling him it was your first time with a guy. I didn’t realise he didn’t already know. I mean… I figured that was why we were so pissed at him for leaving so quickly afterward,” he added uncertainly.

Heat rushed to my cheeks, but I frowned down at my coffee cup as I stirred creamer into it. “Don’t worry, man. Seriously. I don’t get why he… I mean, surely he knew already. It’s not like I’ve ever hooked up with a guy before—brought one home. I think he was just… bullshitting you because he knows he’s been a dick. And he wants everyone to like him.”

Nev was quiet for a few moments, before he said, “It really seemed like he didn’t know, Rafe.”

I snorted, dumping my spoon in the sink. “Nah. He had to have known. He’s just… doing damage control now, for some reason. Can’t stand the fact that I’m not fawning over him or something. I don’t know.”

“So you didn’t actually tell him?” Nev asked hesitantly. “That it was your first time? Or that you only recently realised you were into guys?”

“Um, I…” I rubbed my neck, shifting uncomfortably. “I mean… no, I guess I haven’t explicitly told him either of those things. Like, I haven’t said the actual words.”

Nev sighed. “Rafe.”

“It was implied!” I blurted, my face heating again. “I mean, surely it was really fucking obvious the other night that I’d never done that before?”

“Not necessarily. Maybe you’re just a natural dick wrangler.”

“A natural—” I stopped and flushed even hotter, letting out an awkward laugh. “Uh, no, dude. I was really nervous. And then when it got, uh, more involved, I was just…”

I trailed off in embarrassment, my face on fire.