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That made me stop instantly and whirl around to face him. “What does that mean?”
Neville blinked and tugged on his shirt hem, trying to collect himself after his little dramatic episode. “Just… I mean, I guess I’m not surprised that it’s him.”
“What?” I barked, making him flinch. “What the fuck does that mean, Neville?”
He winced, then huffed and rolled his eyes. “I mean, you’ve kind of been obsessed with him ever since he moved in, dude.”
“What?” I squawked yet again. “No, I haven’t. You’re talking shit. What the fuck?”
He snorted with laughter. “Yeah, you totally have, man. I can’t remember the last convo we had where he didn’t come up at least once. ‘My asshole neighbour did this,’ ‘my asshole neighbour did that.’ You talk about him a lot, dude.”
“Because he’s an asshole!” How could Neville not see this? “He’s the worst! He sucks!”
“Sucks so good he triggers sexual awakenings.” Neville waggled his eyebrows at me.
“That was a cheap shot.” I pointed an accusing finger right back at him. “It wasn’t because of him. Like, it wasn’t because it was him. It was just because it was… a dude. Sucking his own dick. And it made me…”
“Pop a huge boner?” Neville repeated his earlier guess with an encouraging nod.
I exhaled a slow, calming breath, then deadpanned, “Yes. It made me pop a huge boner.”
And desperately hump my mattress until I came so hard my vision whited out.
Never in a million years was I going to admit that part. Not even to Nev.
“This is so exciting, Rafeo.” Neville rested his hands on my shoulders and peered into my eyes with a huge grin. “Are you going to ask him out?”
All the colour drained from my face. I managed a squawk of something close to laughter. “Ask him out? Ewen? No fucking thank you.”
Neville pouted. “But he’s so hot.”
He is. He’s so insanely hot, and that pisses me off so much.
And he made me a hot chocolate last night.
I couldn’t disagree, so I stayed silent and started walking again, randomly grabbing a bag of spinach off the shelf.
“You okay?” Neville asked hesitantly as he followed.
I pursed my lips, giving a jerky shrug, but a second later found myself blurting, “It just fucking bugs me that it was him. Why did it have to be him?”
“What, to make you realise this about yourself?”
“Yeah,” I said woodenly, dragging my feet toward the snack aisle. “I don’t even like him. He’s the worst.”
“Rafe…” When Nev trailed off, I turned to frown at him.
“What?”
He sighed and gave me a small smile. “We’ve been friends for a long time now. I know you better than probably anyone, which means I know how freaking stubborn you are.”
My frown deepened. “So?”
“So I think you decided three years ago, when Dan moved in next door, that you didn’t like him, and now no matter what he says or does, you refuse to even consider changing your mind about that.”
I snorted in derision. “You’re saying that as if he’s said or done anything that should have changed my mind.”
As soon as I said it, guilt made my gut go all squirmy. Because, I mean, recently, Ewen had actually been… kind of nice. We’d gotten to know each other a little better through our weird nightly meetings on our back decks after we both got off. He’d made me a hot chocolate. He’d even apologised for being an inconsiderate neighbour.
