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Obviously, I’d nodded, my heart stuttering when he’d lain fully on top of me, our legs tangled together, his head on the front of my shoulder and his palm resting on my chest. I’d stopped watching the movie then. I’d just closed my eyes to take in the warmth of him, the feel of his heart beating steadily against me, the scent of his hair as I rested my chin on the top of his head. I must’ve fallen asleep quickly.

This was all I wanted. I didn’t care if he stopped wanting sex lessons, as long as I could still have this. But when he decided he didn’t need more lessons, that would mean he felt ready to go and have sex with someone else. So he wouldn’t want to do this with me anyway.

He must’ve muted the TV before dozing off, because the room was quiet, which made my unsteady breaths sound even louder. Restless, panicked energy buzzed under my skin, the urge to tell him that I loved him, that I wanted this with him, climbing up my throat. It felt like I was running out of time.

I must’ve disturbed Larkin, because he stirred on top of me, tucking his long fingers into his sleeve and rubbing his nose with it as a sleepy little grunt escaped him. He lifted his head and gazed around blearily, then rested his cheek back on my chest with a tired sigh.

“I’m really hot,” he croaked, because he was still wearing his giant sweater, and I tended to run warm. “Sorry, I’m probably making you overheat.”

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, tightening the arm around his waist. “What time is it?”

Larkin stretched out an arm to pick up his phone on the coffee table, wincing when the bright screen illuminated.

“Oh shit, it’s like two a.m.” With another sigh, he struggled up onto one arm. “Sorry. I better go.”

“You don’t have to,” I blurted, because I’d only just woken up, so the stuff I shouldn’t say was just coming out of my mouth. “You don’t have to go. You… you shouldn’t drive home when you’re this tired. It’s not safe.”

He gave me a sleepy smile and rubbed his eye sweetly, and it was all I could do not to crush him back to my chest. “I don’t want to, like, impose. Any more than I already have.”

“It’s not. You’re not.” There was a desperate edge to my voice. This might be the only chance I ever got to actually sleep with him. “We’ll sleep here. It’s fine.”

He looked uncertain. “You don’t have to… You should go up to bed—”

“I want to stay here.” Realising I was making myself far too exposed, I managed to fix a tiny smile on my face. “I’m really comfy. I just don’t want to move. You’re a good blanket.”

After a pause, Larkin nodded quickly and settled back down on my chest, his cheek rubbing against my hair-roughened skin. “Okay, yeah. Me too. This is… Thanks.”

Exhaling with relief, I closed my eyes and let my hands slip under the hem of his giant sweater to smooth over his lower back. His skin was hot and slightly damp with sweat. When he shifted, my eyes popped back open to see him reach for the remote and turn off the TV, plunging us into darkness.

I relaxed again, stroking my thumb over the dip of his spine. My heavy eyelids slid shut, breaths steadying and growing deeper as I drifted back toward sleep.

Then I heard Larkin whisper, “I want this.”

My eyes snapped back open, pulse immediately speeding up until my heart was racing. “What?”

What did he mean? What did he want?

“Nothing,” Larkin said quickly. “Sorry. Just… mumbling.”

He had to feel my heart pounding against him. I’d gone rigid, my breaths leaving me in little spurts, but when he stayed silent, I forced myself to unclench again. I wanted to ask him what he meant—what it was he wanted—but I was too scared to hear the answer.

I want this when I find the person I want to be with.

I want this with someone else.

I want this, but you’re just my fuckletics instructor, Seb, so of course I don’t want this with you.

I wasn’t tired anymore, my mind too busy churning through all the different devastating ways he could tell me that I’d never, ever get to truly be with him. Which meant I didn’t notice, at first, when his fingers started trailing lightly over my pec, sifting through the short hair there.

When a fingertip traced my nipple, my breath hitched as I tensed. But he didn’t say anything, so I didn’t either. I didn’t even know how awake he still was. This could’ve just been… absent touching while he drifted off to sleep, like a self-soothing gesture.

Although that seemed less likely when he turned his cheek, his breathing growing unsteady, and pressed a kiss to the centre of my chest.

My fingers tightened on his back, cock twitching against his thigh. I still didn’t move, feeling like I was going to vibrate out of my skin when he rubbed the tip of his nose through the hair on my chest, then kissed me again, this time directly over my nipple.

I sucked in a sharp breath to say something, but ended up just exhaling in a rush when I felt the soft, wet warmth of his tongue circling my nipple. Then he gave it a light, hesitant suck, a tiny sound escaping him as my cock stiffened in a rush, pushing against his thigh.

“L-Lark,” I whispered unsteadily as he propped himself up and nuzzled my chest hair on his way to my other nipple, which he sucked with a bit more confidence. I gasped, a hand shooting up to tangle in his hair.