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I had my cell phone cradled between my ear and shoulder, pulling leftovers from the fridge. “Yes. I am. The doctor confirmed nothing has changed so I spent two months taking medication that made me constipated, excessively horny, and rather irritable for nothing,” I snapped. I inhaled a breath and exhaled slowly before apologizing. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. But yes, on top of receiving the same devastating news in an entirely different way, the doctor told me I would also have symptoms similar to heat but more intense and for a longer period of time. That is why I originally called…” I trailed off, the ambient music loud enough for me to pick up. “Where are you?”
“At Eli’s restaurant. On a date,” Tristin happily replied. “And yes, Jonah, this does count as a date.”
The familiar ache in my chest reminded me it never left, the sharp pain making me grimace. It was hard for me to be around my friend most days, but I believed I did well at hiding my emotional discomfort. However, realizing that Tristin was now courting someone left me painfully aware of how single I was and how deeply I despised that. I mustered up something I hoped passed for happiness and said, “Congratulations. I’m happy for you.”
“You aren’t right now, love, and that’s okay. But what can I do to help you through this?”
I exhaled softly. “Nothing. I’ll be fine. Enjoy your date.” I tucked my phone in the pocket of my sweats, grabbing the containers of food and a fork, before curling up on the couch to watch trashy, daytime television.
The blinding pain shooting through my abdomen had me jolting awake and gasping for breath. My cry was a strangled sob as the same sensation lanced through my gut again. I struggled to breathe as nausea overwhelmed me. I’d never experienced a heat so intense that it caused me to become sick and honestly, as I was hunched over the kitchen sink—which I barely made to in time—I was oddly grateful. The feeling was unbearable. I gritted my teeth, doing my best to stay up right, but doubled over, the stabbing pain relentless. The cramps came in quick succession, until I could no longer bear staying on my feet. I collapsed with a loud sob, the sound raw and broken as if the tears were dragged from some place deep inside of my soul.
“It’s not fair,” I wailed, curling into a tight ball.
It wasn’t fair, yet I hadn’t given myself the space to feel this since my heat. Tears streamed down my cheeks long after the pain subsided, and in between the loud sniffles and trying to catch my breath, I had a moment of clarity.
I hadn’t allowed myself to even think about Eli in the past two months. But now, as I was curled up on the kitchen floor, the dull throb of heartache resurfacing once again, I had no choice but to admit that I missed him so much. I couldn’t stop crying and all I wanted was to hear his voice again. Just once.
I pulled myself up to my feet and slowly shuffled to my couch to grab my phone and began to dial.
I’ll block my number and just listen to his voicemail…
Eli answered after the first ring.
“Hello?”
The phone almost slipped out of my hand.
“Hello? Anyone the—Laney?” His voice sounded small, hopeful even, as he said my pet name.
“Why didn’t you ever call?” I finally asked, my voice wavering around the sharp edges of each word. I didn’t want to know the answer, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. Bracing for the worst, I waited.
“I-I don’t know.”
“That’s not good enough, Eli.” I broke, my tone straining under the dark wave of sadness. “Why didn’t you chase me?”
“I don’t kn—,” he stopped, correcting himself mid-sentence, “I do know but I cannot have this conversation right now. We’re in the middle of the dinner rush. Can I call you back later?”
“No.”
His voice became flat, as if every emotion had been sapped from his being. “Oh. Okay.”
“No. I mean—,” I paused, wincing as the dull ache intensified to something barely tolerable.
Eli picked up on it right away, the concern heavy in his tone. “Are you okay?”
A cold sweat broke out on my brow. Through gritted teeth I started to answer, but the room tilted forward slowly, and I was confused until I realized, aloud, “I think I’m about to pass out.”
“What?! Delaney, are you okay?!” Eli questioned frantically.
The last thing I heard before I hit the floor was him repeating my name.
When I shifted in bed, every muscle and joint cried out in protest. My eyes gradually opened, and I rapidly blinked against the bright fluorescents. The pungent odor of cleansers made my nose crinkle. I swallowed thickly. “Where am I?”
“Laney?”
I turned my head towards the sound of the voice and when my eyes focused, they shot wide. “Eli? What are you doing here? Where am I?”
His eyes were red rimmed and swollen, his complexion ashen and hair a lot longer on the top, the fade having grown out as well. “Hospital,” he gently replied.
