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When she was finally still, he moved until he was next to her. She turned into his arms and he held her close. Several more shudders rippled through her and she breathed his name with each one.
“Not bad,” she said at last.
He chuckled. “Now there’s an endorsement. Would you be willing to say it was nice?”
“Very nice. It was as if you knew what I was feeling even before I did, then responded to that.”
“I did.”
He hoped she wouldn’t ask him to explain it because he didn’t have any answers. It had never happened to him before and he doubted it would happen again.
Her warm hand brushed against his chest and moved lower until she encircled him. She propped her chin on his shoulder and looked into his face. “I want to do to you what you did to me. The kissing all over your body, the touching. It was incredible. But I read this article.”
He was having trouble concentrating on her words, especially when her fingers were teasing the top of his erection, circling around the sensitive head and running up and down the length. “Uh-huh.”
“The article said that once a man thinks he’s going to have sex, all he cares about is his…” She paused delicately. “His, well, organ being inside the woman. That if there is any foreplay for him, it’s this voice in his head screaming, ‘Touch it, touch it, touch it.’ Is that true?”
Despite how much he wanted to be inside her, he had to grin. “That about sums it up.”
She sighed. “I was afraid of that. So I won’t bother with all that unnecessary kissing and nibbling. I’ll just tell you that I want you inside me right now.”
She turned toward her nightstand and pulled out a condom, then opened the package. He fumbled with the protection, his need making his fingers tremble. Then she was on her back with her legs spread and he was entering her, nearly gasping at her wet heat and the way he fitted her so perfectly.
His tension increased by the second. “I’m too close,” he gasped.
“It’s okay. Just go for it.”
Her choice of words made him smile. “Not yet.”
Even though his entire body screamed in protest, he pulled out of her and rubbed himself against her pleasure point. Her breath caught instantly. She pulled her knees back, and when he slipped she moved him so that his steady strokes hit just the right spot. Then she was pushing him inside her. As he entered, he felt the first ripple of her release.
“I’m coming,” she breathed against his mouth as he ducked his head to kiss her. “Every time you move inside me. It’s too wonderful. I can’t do this for very long.”
“That’s not going to be a problem.”
Her spasms added to the friction. Tiny massages accompanied every thrust. Less than a minute later, he came in an explosion so incredibly powerful that he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but be in her and feel every cell in his body shudder with the experience.
* * *
Later, when they’d taken the time to slip under the covers, he pulled her close to his side. She rested one arm on his chest and slid her knee over his thigh. They fitted together perfectly, he thought, trying to keep himself emotionally distant even as he felt himself tumbling into the dark pit of wanting and needing. He wanted to get as far away from her as he could, but it was too late. It didn’t matter how much he traveled or for how long. He’d connected with her and now there would be hell to pay.
He closed his eyes, but that couldn’t blot out the truth. He’d crossed his own private line and gone into the place he’d promised himself he would never go. He should have kept his distance. He should have done a thousand things differently. He’d been a fool.
Heather sighed. “I love you.”
She spoke the words quietly and easily, as if she’d said them a thousand times before. As if they weren’t powerful enough to shake and crumble the foundations of his world. He couldn’t respond—he could barely breathe. Love? No. Not possible. His mind and heart rejected the possibility.
“I don’t want you to say anything back,” she added. “I wasn’t even sure I was going to tell you. It kind of slipped out. Nothing will change. I swear, I won’t get all weird on you—it’s just that I wanted you to know.”
She gave a little laugh and looked at him. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. After all, I’ve been very clear on my three-strikes rule. I thought I was done with love forever. But I can’t resist you. Not only because the lovemaking is so terrific or because you make a habit of acting like a hero, but because of how you make me feel when I’m around you. I love how you look out for me and Diane and how kind you are and how smart and funny. We’ll still be friends. I promise. But I do love you.”
Then she did the most amazing thing. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Jim told himself to stay calm. He held her gently for over an hour, listening to the sound of her breathing, replaying her words and trying to figure out what they meant.
He wanted to believe. What man wouldn’t sell his soul to have a woman like her in his life? He wanted to respond in kind and tell her that somehow they would make it work. But he couldn’t. Because she wasn’t telling the truth. She couldn’t love him. No one loved him. Not ever. No one got that close. He’d designed his life to keep the world at bay. What made her think she could slip past the barriers and find her way to his heart?
It was all he could do not to shake her awake and shout at her, telling her that he didn’t want her love. Instead, he slipped out of her bed like the snake that he was and made his way into the living room. There he dressed, then left the quiet house. When he closed the door behind him, he promised himself that he was never going back inside.
