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I swallowed and nodded.

“I don’t understand. Then why did you break up with him?”

“Because he was going to stay here for me. He was going to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime, and I couldn’t let him do that. Not for me.” My voice cracked. “I don’t deserve to have someone give up that much.”

Calder’s expression twisted. It went from sad to angry in an instant. He ripped his hand from mine, shoved back from the table, and stood. Digging into his pants pocket, he came up with a handful of cash and tossed it on the table.

“You’re right. You don’t.” He shook his head. “I’ll never learn my lesson.”

“Calder, wait.”

“Not this time.” His jaw tightened. “Have a nice life, Talia.”

CHAPTER 40

A week passed, and I didn’t hear from either of them. That wasn’t necessarily a shock, considering the tense way I’d left things with both Rafe and Calder. Even if it was a bit depressing, I was proud of myself for taking the time to be alone for a while.

On Saturday night, I had no plans, so I called my mother. I’d come to a major conclusion in the last week and wanted to run it by her to be sure I was making the right decision.

Mom sighed after I caught her up. “I do wish the best for Calder. He’s such a great guy.”

I rubbed my temple. “I wouldn’t blame you if you lectured me about how stupid I am to let him go…”

“You know that’s not my style. You have your reasons. You wouldn’t have fallen for Rafe so easily if Calder were the one. You’re still so young. Now is the time to make mistakes and figure out what you want.”

I chewed on my lip. “Speaking of what I want…” I plopped down onto the couch. “I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“Okay…”

I sucked in a deep breath. “I’ve decided to move back home to Montana.”

“Really…”

“Yes.” I breathed. “I feel bad giving up my job, but what I need most is the comfort of home right now. Not to mention, you’re the most important person in my life, and I don’t want to lose any more precious time with you. I learned my lesson the hard way after what happened to Dad.”

“You’ve thought this through?”

“I’ve had some time to soul search this week. I’ve grown to love the City, but there’s nothing like home. The biggest thing keeping me here is my job, and that’s not reason enough to stay. Working my way up to editor would’ve been the end game, and that’s not my dream.”

“Your dream is to be a writer…”

“Exactly. I need to focus on my own manuscripts instead of having my head buried in other people’s stories. That really stifles creativity. And the income is easily replaceable because I don’t make all that much yet. I could take almost any job back home and get by while I write on the side.”

“Sweetheart, you’re not gonna hear me talk you out of something that feels right in your heart. But are you sure what feels like the right decision isn’t actually running away in disguise?”

“There’s nothing left to run away from.” I paused, closing my eyes for a moment. “Funny enough, it’s Rafe who most inspired me to leave my job.”

“You spoke to him about it?”

“No. But seeing firsthand how he’s been able to take his talent and make a career out of it? That gives me hope that as long as my heart is in it, I can make writing work. There are many different ways to publish, and even if it doesn’t turn out to be a full-time gig, I won’t have to live with the regret of not trying.”

“Maybe if you can find a job that doesn’t demand as much of your headspace while you write, it will be a good thing.”

“That’s what I’m thinking. Something that pays the bills but doesn’t have to be a dream position.”

My mom chuckled. “Gosh, I didn’t even have a chance to visit you.”

“We can always take a trip out here together. I know New York so much better now and can show you around.”