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“I do. I still get homesick sometimes. But Brooklyn has really grown on me. I like the pace, and I feel like it’s where I need to be right now to become who I’m going to be, if that makes any sense.”
Calder smiled. “I knew you’d like it here.”
We chatted through our entrees and a cup of coffee after. I’d finally settled in and stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which was when it did.
“So,” he said. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
I wiped my mouth. “Okay.”
“As you know, I went on a date last night. It was a second date, actually.”
“Oh.”
He smiled. “You don’t sound happy about that.”
“Sorry. I guess you just caught me off guard.”
“Her name is Peyton. She’s pretty and smart—a second-year pediatric resident.”
I faked a smile. “I’m happy for you.”
“She’s perfect.” Calder waited until I met his eyes, then shook his head. “There’s only one thing wrong with her, that I can tell.”
“What’s that?”
He took a deep breath. “She’s not you.”
My pulse picked up.
Calder reached across the table and took my hand. “I’m still so damn in love with you, Talia.”
It suddenly felt difficult to breathe. “How can you be? After I’ve been so horrible to you?”
“Because I know you. I know the person you are inside. What happened with Rafe doesn’t define you. It was a mistake.”
A mistake…
I looked away, trying to wrap my head around what Calder was saying. I wasn’t sure I could understand how he would still want to be with me. But I knew he was wrong about one thing: Rafe didn’t feel like a mistake, at least not in the way Calder meant.
“Talia?”
Lost in my head, my gaze jumped back to his.
“Do you still have feelings for me?”
“I…” I swallowed. “In a way, I always will, Calder.”
He squeezed my hand. “Then let’s give it another try. Come back home. I miss you hogging the covers. I miss opening my eyes and seeing your face first thing in the morning.”
“I… I can’t.”
“Why not? If you still have feelings for me, we can figure it out. Maybe we can go to couples counseling or something.”
I didn’t want to hurt Calder more than I already had. But it was time to be honest, about everything. That was the very least I could do now.
I stared down at our joined hands, trying to formulate a delicate way to say what I needed to. But in the end, there wasn’t one. “I love you, Calder. I always will. You were my first love, and you will forever own a piece of my heart. But I’m not in love with you anymore.”
His face fell. “Are you in love with him?”