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“You are my son—”
“Glad you noticed,” I said, standing up straight. Even in his boots, I had an inch of height on him.
“My job is to protect you.”
Super heartwarming.
“It’s … Your mother was the one who handled the nurturing part. I’m not …” He stopped, his wide shoulders dropping, and attempted to explain himself. “I’m trying. I may not show it the way she did, but I do love you.”
“Why do you refer to her in past tense?” The candy went sticky in my tightly closed fist. “‘Was.’ ‘Did.’”
His whisper hurt me worse than a scream. “There’s been no improvement; in fact, she’s declining. You’d know that if you’d go see her.”
“Are you saying it’s my fault she’s getting worse?”
“No, but hearing her son’s voice, feeling his touch, that couldn’t hurt her. You know how much she loved—”
“Loves. Loves. She loves me. I sat with her when you were dead. I did everything I could. I even tried—” I broke off just in time. “I know what my mistakes are; I don’t need a list from you. I’ll make sure Michael checks in with you while we’re all in Memphis. There’s nothing else to say.”
nodded and lifted her hands. They hovered a half inch over the shape of the United States before landing somewhere in the vicinity of Kansas. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. When she moved her hands, I thought of the motion people make when they play with a Ouija board. Back and forth, in repetitive figure eights.
“Anything?” Dune asked, dividing his focus between Lily’s face and the map.
She stopped and her eyes flew open.
“Thompson’s Hill?” Lily asked, referring to the next town over. “Behind the courthouse?”
Em bit her bottom lip and then nodded. “Yes. In storage, with the rest of my parents’ stuff.”
The memory cost Em. Her energy level dropped, and lines formed on either side of her mouth. Michael kissed her on the temple, and her low leveled out as he helped her carry the weight.
“That’s a good memory,” Lily said, wiping tears from her eyes. “And I’m glad you still have all their stuff.”
“Me, too. I had the breakdown before we could go through it. Since I came back here, I haven’t been ready. Neither has my brother. I don’t think Thomas or I will ever be ready.” Em stood up and took a glass down from the kitchen cupboard, filling it with water at the sink.
“Are you ready to try the watch?” I asked Lily, sensing the need to draw attention away from Em.
She bit her lip. “I think so.”
“Maybe everyone should clear out,” I suggested. “Lily and I are supposed to be working on this together, anyway.”
Michael met my eyes, and I saw the unspoken “thank you.” Dune … not as much.
When Lily and I were alone, I placed the map in front of her on the table. “Ready?”
“Wait.” She put her hand on my arm. “It was really decent of you to get Em out of here before we did this. We shouldn’t have brought up those memories.”
“I disagree.” I sat down beside her. “Sometimes, it’s good to remember, and you were the perfect person for her to do it with. If she didn’t totally trust you, she wouldn’t have felt safe enough to open up. She’s lucky to have you.”
She looked at me for a long minute.
“Okay. Let’s try this.” There was a moment of complete silence, and then she pulled back as if the map were smoldering firewood. “I see it. The pocket watch, but on the night of the masquerade. I could see the details of the stitching on Jack’s vest.”
“Okay.” That gave me an idea. “Try again, but concentrate on today, right now this very second. But this time, I want you to close your eyes.” I fanned through the pages of the atlas, all the way to Alaska. I placed it flat on the table in front of Lily.
Her concentration hung heavy in the air, like wet sheets dripping on a clothesline. “No.”
“Try to relax.” I turned to Hawaii, but marked Tennessee with my finger. “And try again.”
