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The hurt came through again, tinged with jealousy this time. It couldn’t be because of the girl, so it must be because of … my house. I’d called her a charity case, but I hadn’t meant it at all, much less that way.
“Hey.” This time I did grab her arm, turning her around. “I don’t have money.”
Lily’s laugh reminded me of smoke and honey. “Right. Your family has it. You have to wait a few years before your trust fund rolls in.”
“That’s not true.”
“Oh, so you get it when you turn eighteen,” she said coldly. “Good for you.”
“Listen.” Irritation began to slide toward anger. “I told you our house has been in my dad’s family for generations. We didn’t buy it, and, yes, he inherited it, but only the house, not the money for the upkeep. And we need a lot of money for that.”
“So your mom makes a movie and pockets five million bucks. The name Grace Walker commands at least that much.”
“Yeah.” I had no idea why, but I was overcome with the need to tell Lily the truth. To let go and stop hiding. “But that doesn’t help us much right now. My mom is in a coma.”
She drew a sharp breath.
“No one in the media knows. Not that I think you’d say anything, but … we’ve kept it under wraps. People probably just think she’s somewhere tropical, drinking piña coladas and having a full body lift.” I closed my eyes and waited for the anger to go away—the anger at the situation and the anger at myself for telling Lily anything.
“How long?” she asked.
I opened my eyes to search her face. I didn’t feel pity from her, or hear it in her voice. There was only empathy. I was usually the one providing that.
“Almost eight months.”
She took my arm and pulled me toward one of the benches that lined Main Street. “Sit. You don’t have to tell me anything. But … sit.”
We both sat. Now that I’d opened up to her, it was like I couldn’t stop. I just kept talking, no matter how much I wanted to shut up. “It happened right after Dad died. It wasn’t an accident or anything like that. We don’t know what’s wrong with her. Exactly.”
“What do you mean, ‘exactly’?”
“She didn’t come downstairs one morning, so I went to her room to find her. She was in her bathroom. On the floor. There were … pills. They were all around her.” I blew out a sigh, trying not to see her now. Trying not to relive the fear and the pain. “My mom doesn’t even drink.”
Lily didn’t say anything. It was the perfect reaction.
We sat in silence for a few moments as I tried to figure out how to explain things, and how much I wanted her to know. “Jack told Emerson he took Mom’s memories of everything that was keeping her alive. Her memories of Dad.”
“And you.”
I wanted to believe that. The doubt had only grown in the past months, that somehow Mom hadn’t loved me enough to stick around. I knew deep down it wasn’t true, but the lie showed up at the most inopportune times. Like when a bottle, or a girl, was handy.
“When Jack took Emerson’s memories, he replaced them,” I explained. “But Mom is just … empty, I guess. Jack claimed that made her suicidal.”
Traffic passed by on Main Street, and I listened to the comforting, familiar sounds of a small town closing out the day. Keys jangling in store locks, car doors opening and shutting, faint snatches of conversations about dinner plans.
“Em told me about Michael,” she said, “when he was dead. Your dad was, too. That’s so strange.”
I didn’t mention that Em had been dead pretty recently as well.
“But Michael and your dad are both alive and well now.” Her hand moved toward my arm, but then she changed her mind and quickly pulled it back into her lap. “You have to hold out hope that one day your mom will be okay.”
Not only did she believe what she was saying, she wanted me to believe it. The honesty in her voice was wrapped with a warmth I wanted to lean on. “Thank you.”
“You’re really only fifty percent jerk, you know. Maybe forty-nine. But that other fifty or fifty-one? That’s solid. And I bet it’s because of your mom.”
I couldn’t respond. I gave in to instinct, taking her hand and squeezing it gently before letting go.
After a full minute of silence, Lily cleared her throat. “I’m glad we had a touching moment and all, but you should be aware of the fact that I still don’t like you.”
