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I cursed. I hadn’t prepared her for the blackness. I struggled to sit but could only manage to prop myself up on my elbows. “I’ll fix it.”
“You don’t need to fix anything right now. You can’t even sit.”
“No.” I gave up and stayed on my back. “Part of you is missing. I didn’t even think about the way it would make you feel.”
“I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“I hurt you. When Jack takes things, he leaves empty space. Pain. That wasn’t my intention, but that’s what you feel, right?”
She nodded and rubbed her chest with her hand, as if her heart ached.
“I’m afraid if I don’t give it back now, it’ll … I don’t know, dilute or something. I didn’t see what I took that clearly, but when I give it back, you should. I think.” I hoped. I rolled over to my side, facing her, and put my hand on her waist. “Come here.”
She scooted closer. A lot closer. Toe to toe, hip to hip, chest to chest. I had almost half a foot on her heightwise, so I had to lean my head down to touch my forehead to hers, but otherwise we fit together perfectly.
“After I do this, there’s a really good chance I’ll pass out again.”
“I’ll stay with you.” She lifted her chin and pressed her lips to mine. “Until I know you’re okay. Right here.”
“Hold on to me.” I tightened my grip on her waist. “Focus on what you see, and I’ll try to go slowly. Lily, this isn’t going to be easy. I think you’re going to feel it … like it’s fresh. Like it just happened.”
“I’m ready.”
I focused on the emotion and the memories. When I pushed them through my mental space into hers, they went backward for me, like a movie on rewind. Giving them back made me feel as if someone were scraping the inside of my soul away, leaving an open wound.
When I finished, she was crying as if she’d never stop.
I held her as close as I could and concentrated on not passing out. She needed me, and I wanted to be there. “Tell me what to do.”
“What you’re doing right now.” She shuddered. “It didn’t go backward that time. It was like I was watching it happen, like I was right there. I haven’t seen my parents that clearly in … well, in nine years. I look like my mom.”
“You’re both beautiful.” I tucked her head under my chin.
“And my dad …” Her voice caught. She turned her face into my chest. Sobs shook her body, but she didn’t make a sound. Tears soaked the front of my shirt.
After a few minutes, she stopped. “The emotions are so much clearer … the things I saw, I remember so many more details.”
“Like what?”
She lifted her head. “Feet. Shiny black shoes. Three men, and their faces. And my mom. She was trying to protect me.”
I nodded and waited for her to absorb the next memory in the chain, the one I didn’t understand.
“They came for me that day, Kaleb.”
I stayed silent.
Confusion, shame, sorrow.
“That’s why we left Cuba when we did, and so quickly. Because the men had already come to take me away.”
Chapter 44
I held her until nightfall, watching the darkness weave a cocoon around us.
“What are you going to tell your grandmother?” I asked, stroking her hair.
“Nothing.” Lily stared at the ceiling. “How do I explain what you showed me?”
