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Only I knew she'd been looking, and that was enough for me right now.

CHAPTER TEN

LILLAH

The date with Hank was already going terribly, even before Marshall showed up. So it wasn't a surprise that after Marshall left, it became something worse.

The problem wasn't Hank. He was nice and polite. He held the door open and pulled out my chair, and even asked me to tell him about myself without his eyes drifting to his phone or to the TV above the bar. Everything that Mila had promised Hank was, he was. The problem was that there was nothing. No spark or pull, no flutter in my stomach when he leaned toward me and I caught the scent of his cologne. Even when our hands brushed reaching into the bread basket, I felt the same as before. Like shaking hands with a coworker at a conference.

I'd tried to give him a chance and see if maybe I was nervous. I asked him about his work, which he explained in great detail. I could tell he was passionate about his career, which I loved. He told me about his family and about his weekend plans, and he asked me about mine. I smiled and made eye contact, but underneath there was nothing. That was when I saw Marshall walking toward our table, and every nerve in my body woke up.

I was pretty sure I felt him before I saw him. Something shifted in the air, a change in the energy. He walked with that deliberate stride all athletes had, and I noticed he was favoring his left side.

I hated how he made me feel by walking toward me. My pulse jumping, losing track of whatever Hank was saying. I hated the heat that flew through my body when he stopped at the table and looked at me with those blue eyes.

When he'd said, "Fancy seeing you here", in that voice, low and warm, with an edge of amusement that told me he knew exactly what he was doing, my body answered. My stomach clenched, my fingers tightened on my wineglass, and my skin flushed from my chest to my throat. Hank didn't notice, but I knew Marshall had. That was the moment Hank lost all interest in our date because he'd recognized Marshall. Who would have thought he was a huge hockey fan?

After Marshall left, Hank spent the next thirty minutes talking nonstop about hockey. He pulled up a clip from one of Marshall's games on his phone and held it across the table for me to watch, and I watched. Not because I cared about the sport or wanted to see the goal. I watched because I wanted to watch Marshall, and he was much safer on a screen than as a body across the room watching me.

When my glass was almost empty and the evening was coming to a close, I knew the best thing I could do was end things with Hank now instead of letting it continue.

"You are a really nice guy, Hank, but I think you deserve honesty. So, I am sorry to say I don't think this is going to work out."

"Oh." He blinked, looking confused. "I thought the night went well."

"It's not you. You've been perfectly fine."

"Perfectly fine?" He questioned. Probably the worst compliment he'd ever received at the end of a date. I knew it was the worst one I'd given, and I wished I could take it back.

"What I meant to say is…you are great. You are nice, smart, and I love that you volunteer your time at the food bank, which is impressive. I don't feel a connection with you, and I think pretending that I did would be unfair to both of us."

He leaned back in his chair and looked at me for a moment. I could tell he was deciding what to say. Whether to exit cleanly or say what was forming behind his eyes.

"You know, I think I need a woman who's a little kinder, maybe a little less…judgy."

His words stung. Not because he was being cruel, but because he'd been honest. He wasn't wrong. I'd been judging him from the moment the evening started, comparing him right down to his smooth hands and his voice.

"Fair enough, Hank. I hope you find her." I said, standing up.

I dropped enough cash on the table to cover my dinner plus my share of the tip and walked out without looking back at him. I didn't look over at where Marshall was sitting with his teammates either. I pushed through the door into the cool night air and walked to my car.

I drove home in silence, thinking about the expression on Hank's face when I'd said "perfectly fine". That had been cruel, and I knew it. He had taken me to a nice restaurant and had been genuinely interested in getting to know me, and I'd done nothing but judge him. I hadn't given him a chance, all because the man I felt something for was across the room watching me with those blue eyes while nursing a whiskey.

I pulled into my driveway and cut the engine, sitting in my car for a few minutes before getting out. I called Mila from my back porch. Cooper was in the backyard doing his evening business, and I was sitting on the step with my heels off and my bare feet on the cold stone.

"Well, if you are calling me already, it didn't go well. It's only been a couple of hours." She said into the phone without greeting me.

"It was a nightmare, Mila."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"First, Hank was fine. He was everything you said, so don't panic. I felt nothing, zero. As if I were having dinner with a pleasant stranger."

"Lillah, I'm not sure you're supposed to feel anything on the first date."

"I know…" I paused. "Marshall showed up."

The line was silent for a moment. "Marshall, as in your neighbor?"