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“The kids like it,” Luci said. “But I thought I’d do one for the talent show. I brought my wig and cape.”

“Cape?”

“It’s part of the act.”

“I want to see it,” I said, laughing.

She got out of bed and padded to the dresser, pulling out a bright rainbow wig and a black satin cape. With a flourish, she draped the cape over her shoulders, then tugged the wig on, tucking her real hair underneath. “The kids know it’s me, of course. But they kind of go with it if I fully commit. That’s the key. Also, I use a bad French accent when I’m in character.”

“French?”

She ruffled the cape dramatically. “I know, it’s ridiculous. But it only comes if I have the wig on.” In her accent it sounded like, “Ah know, eet’s reediculous. But eet only comes eef I ’ave ze wig on.”

I laughed so hard I almost fell off the bed.

“You’ll be my victim,” Luci said. “During the show. I’ll get you up there with me and do a few tricks.”

“You won’t make me disappear, will you?”

As soon as I said it, the air in the room evaporated.

Disappearing is exactly what I’d done to her once before, and we both knew it could happen again.

Luci recovered before I did. “You could draw me in my clown wig for your demonstration,” she said. “Almost like we have an act together. I’ll go first and then you’ll come up with your pad and pencil.” She hesitated. “Wait. Can you draw fast?”

“Just a sketch, yeah.”

“It’ll be fun” Luci said, jumping onto the bed still in her clown cape and wig.

I pulled her against me. “I don’t know how I feel about being in bed with a clown.”

“I’m not the scary kind,” she said, kissing me.

Oh, but you are, I thought. The scariest of all. Because I wanted to give up everything just to have this particular clown by my side forever.

That evening we all gathered in the barn for the talent show where a plywood stage with a curtain backdrop had been erected for the occasion. Twin stools seemed to be the only visible props. The whole thing was slightly unhinged, but at least we were all in it together. We settled onto hay bales to watch. I managed to end up sharing one with Luci but was careful to put a distance between us.

Our show started with Ivy wowing us all with pull-ups. Beck had everyone nearly on the floor with his tour-bus skit. Madeleine had written a poem that was actually somewhat haunting. I had a feeling my favorite lead guitarist had something to do with the melancholy nature of her poetry. I’d been watching them dance around each other for years. Maybe Montana would finally bring light to their true feelings.

Luci went on after Madeleine. She’d gone behind the curtain to don her wig and cape. When she appeared on stage in costume, the room lost it, everyone hooting and hollering.

“Good evening,” she said, in a voice about an octave lower than her usual, along with the French accent. I am ze great Lucinda. “I require a volunteer.” I require a voluntehr.

“Great, Lucinda, pick me, pick me,” Rhett called out.

She scanned the room slowly, hand shading her eyes like she was searching a great distance, and landed on me. “No, I will choose the large one.”

I got up and joined her on stage. She patted the stool, which I sat on so we were the same height.

“Now.” She turned to the room. “This patient is very scared so I must be gentle.” Geentle.

“I’m not scared,” I said.

“Are you telling the Great Lucinda a fib?” She reached up and took my chin in her hand, and turned my head to the side like she was checking my ears. I held my breath, willing myself to remain stoic, despite the urge I felt to pull the Great Lucinda close.

She came away with a quarter from behind my ears. “I see. The large one is hiding his money behind his ear. Perhaps for a rainy day?”

Everyone cheered as she held it up to show the audience.