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Then Caleb said, “You think she’s doing it intentionally?”

“I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know!”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, Blair.”

“Then tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to think!”

“That someone is struggling!”

“I HAVE!”

My hand hit the counter. “I have thought that for over a fucking year!”

Tears burned my eyes. “I have given her grace without ever meeting her. I have waited. I have felt guilty. I have felt selfish. I have told myself over and over that I wasn’t going to be the reason you abandoned someone who wasn’t mentally okay.”

I paced my kitchen. “But every time we get somewhere, Ravenna needs something.”

“That’s not fair.”

“I KNOW!”

If Ravenna really was struggling, I sounded horrible. If she wasn’t, I was a fucking fool.

“I don’t know what the fuck I think,” I whispered. “Because I only know what you tell me.”

I could hear him breathing.

“Blair—”

“I gotta go.”

“Don’t hang up.”

“I need to think.”

“Blair.”

I ended the call and for the first time in over an entire year, I didn’t immediately reach for one of Caleb’s explanations to make myself feel better.

I sat at my kitchen table and let the questions hurt. Ravenna wasn’t just a story anymore. No matter how many explanations Caleb gave me, there was one question I couldn’t make disappear anymore.

If Ravenna knew her marriage was over, why did she still believe she was getting her husband back?

15

Blair

I knew Nash had money before I saw his house. I wasn’t pocket watching, but I’m very observant.

I sat in my car staring through the windshield for a few seconds before grabbing my purse.