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“I’ll think about it.”

He hesitates as if he’s not sure he wants to say what he’s thinking. “We could also talk to Gwen. Gia lived with her for a little while before she moved in with Holt.”

Grayson’s friends are incredibly kind. Any time I’m home, they always make me feel like I’m part of the group, but that doesn’t mean they’ll want to become roomies with Peanut and me. “I wouldn’t want to put her on the spot, especially since I have no idea how I’d pay her rent.”

Gray shrugs. “I have no doubt she’d be happy to have you, but I can talk to her about it.”

“Maybe. I’m too tired to make any decisions right now. And who knows what’s coming down the road?” The words feel ominous, but it would be naive to believe Chris will accept my leaving without a fight.

* * *

I wake up slowly. The morning sun is streaming through the blinds, and I feel more rested than I have in weeks, despite not being able to fall asleep at first.

In the light of day, all my anxieties from last night seem less overwhelming. I’m not sure if it’s because of Grayson’s steadfast support or just being surrounded by the familiar, but I’m grateful regardless. There are still so many things I need to figure out, but now that I’m home, I don’t feel as if I need to do it all immediately. I’m also comforted by the fact that I don’t have to do any of it alone.

But having people in my corner doesn’t negate the fact that I still have to build a new life for myself. The marriage I put almost ten years of my life into has gone up in smoke, and now I have to find out who I am without Chris.

I sigh, pushing myself out of bed. I wish there were a way to turn my brain off. It would be great to stop thinking in circles about things I have no control over. At least I feel rested this morning. It’s been weeks since I woke up without dreading what my day would be like with Chris.

After going through my morning routine, I head downstairs. The smell of bacon has been beckoning me since I got out of bed.

Gray is at the stove, stirring something in a pan. He looks over his shoulder when I walk in. A soft smile grows on his face as I move closer.

“What’s for breakfast?”

“Bacon, eggs, and toast. I hope that’s okay. I don’t have anything else.”

I hum. “Sounds great. I’m starving.”

“Then we’d better feed Mama before she goes on the attack.” His grin is silly, but my insides turn to liquid. The way he called me Mama felt intimate. I can’t afford to think that way. He was only teasing.

“I’m not that bad,” I deflect, turning toward the cabinet where Gray keeps his plates. I do not want him to see how insane I’ve become.

“Ladybug, I love you, but you can get vicious when you’re hangry.”

I jab my finger into his ribs. “It’s rude to call me out like that. I’m growing a human.”

Grayson’s laughter makes me start giggling. He presses an apology kiss to my head. He’s been doing that a lot recently, and I’ve loved every single one. They make me feel cherished.

“You’re right. All that hard work deserves to be rewarded.”

“Damn right it does,” I say haughtily.

Gray grins at me as he takes my plate and serves me a big portion of eggs and bacon. Then he lays a couple of pieces of toast on top and hands the plate back.

I take it, sitting at the table to eat. I don’t wait for him to sit next to me before diving in. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until this moment. A mug of tea is set down in front of me. I look up at Gray in surprise, but he just winks and turns back to the stove.

I stare at that mug for several moments. When was the last time I was taken care of like this?

I’m always the one doing the most. I pay attention to every detail to make sure Chris never goes without anything. I’ve pushed my needs aside for years for Chris. When Chris was in law school, I worked more hours than was healthy to pay for our lives while he studied.

After he graduated, I did whatever I could to help him make a name for himself as a brand-new lawyer. I worked to supplement our income, took care of our household, and bent myself backward to ensure he didn’t have to worry about anything. That pattern continued until we moved to Seattle. He made enough money that I didn’t need to work anymore, and we figured I’d stay home when we had kids anyway. Looking back, I realize Chris made me feel like shit for staying home even though he’s the one who encouraged me to do it.

“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” Grayson asks. I hadn’t noticed him sitting at the table with me.

“A lot of things. Mainly how I let a lot of things slide instead of standing up for myself. I never asked for better because, over the years, I grew to think I wasn’t allowed to. I’d accepted the shitty behavior for so long it became commonplace.”

It’s as if a veil has been lifted from my marriage, and I’m seeing everything with clear vision. The first few years of our life together were wonderful. I knew Chris loved me, so it was worth the sacrifice. I didn’t think I’d have to give one hundred percent of myself forever. Except as time went on, he just kept taking from me without giving anything of himself in return.