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Chris only stayed married to me to use me for his own gain. He’d never have made it this far without me supporting him during law school and the early years of his career.

With a sigh, I roll over to my other side, wishing Grayson was in bed with me. He’s always been the one I went to when I needed comfort or to talk out what I was feeling. Without him and my therapist, I would’ve become a husk of a woman from the overwhelming grief. He’s my favorite person in the world, and in my darkest moments, I would wonder what it would be like to be married to him instead of Chris. I felt like scum for thinking it, but he’s been the only person I could count on no matter what was happening.

Last night, when my mind began to whirl, Grayson laid his hand on the middle of my back as if to remind me that I’m not alone. It settled the anxiety spiral I was on and gave me the chance to fall asleep.

Without him next to me, I’m not sure if I’ll ever fall asleep tonight.

Would it be weird to get into his bed?

After the crazy thoughts I had about him last night, it’s probably not a good idea.

When he came out of the shower in those sweatpants, I was terrified my body was going to go up in flames. And that was after I heard him groaning in the shower. I have no idea what got into me, knocking on the bathroom door to ask him what was wrong.

I was almost positive I already knew, so what did I expect would happen? He’d invite me into his shower and finally relieve the ache that had been building since we started that stupid audiobook?

Checking out his dick imprint in those sweatpants was just the icing on the already embarrassing cake.

The second he left, I jumped into the shower and made myself come like three times. It only partially helped with my horny thoughts, but it was enough to get me through the rest of the night without doing something insane like straddling his lap.

And yes, that was a thought I entertained for a minute.

I can’t believe I’ve become so pathetic that I’ve started thinking dirty thoughts about my best friend only days after being cheated on by my ex—as if Grayson would ever think of me like that in the first place. I’m such an idiot.

With a sigh, I get out of bed and walk down to Gray’s kitchen. Maybe a cup of tea will help soothe my racing mind.

I’m piddling around when a shadowed figure makes me jump out of my skin.

“Sorry, Ladybug. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I exhale the last bit of fear from my body. “It’s okay. I figured you’d be out like a light.”

“I thought the same thing, but it seems like I’m at that stage of being so tired I can’t fall asleep.”

“Same. Do you want some tea?”

Gray scrunches his nose. His hair is adorably sleep-mussed, and his T-shirt and flannel pajama pants cling to every muscle. Is he wearing underwear?

I whip my gaze back to his face. I have got to get a grip on my horny thoughts. Except Gray’s staring at my bare legs, and I realize I’m only in an old T-shirt that barely covers me.

“Sorry, I can go put on pants.” My apology makes his eyes snap up to mine, and he blushes. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Grayson Reed blush.

“No,” he croaks before clearing his throat. “You’re fine as you are.”

I nod, turning away before he can see my matching blush.

Gray grabs a glass of water before he sits at the table. I finish making my tea and then join him. We sit in silence for a while, both of us too tired to say much.

“What were you thinking about that was keeping you awake?” he finally asks.

My brain immediately lands on the image of me straddling Gray’s hips. I cough, shoving that fantasy away as hard as I can. He gives me a questioning look, but I ignore it. There’s no way I’d ever explain what my brain cooked up in its hormone-induced haze.

“I’ve been trying to decide what happens next. We both know I won’t be able to live with Mom full time, but I also don’t have any source of income to rent a place.”

“You know you can stay here for as long as you want.”

I softly smile. His offer is entirely too enticing, but I’m not sure staying with him is a good idea, given the direction my thoughts have gone. “I do know that, but I don’t want to take advantage of you or get in the way of your life.”

Grayson rolls his eyes. “It’s not taking advantage if I’m offering, and you could never get in the way. London would love to have you here.”