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One way or another, though I never intended to—though everything in me rebelled against the idea—I was probably going to have to hurt Quinn.

I wasn’t going to have a choice.

That, or I was going to have to ask him for impossible things. Things he’d made it clear he wasn’t yet ready for.

He could barely manage being in public. Much less being constantly on the run.

And there wouldn’t be any time to explain any of it.

But could I leave him behind, too?

Could I really?

I needed to be smart about what I did next.

Because if I wasn’t smart, they were going to find me. And then they were going to finish the job.

But I had escaped Brent’s family once before. And I had one thing now that I didn’t have back then. Not really, at least.

I had a reason to keep living.

Swallowing the burning lump in my throat, I texted Quinn back with: I’ll be by in an hour. Let’s go on another date.

CHAPTER FOUR || QUINN

Derek picked me up less than an hour later. Which was just as well, because I was in the dimly lit bar—the blackout curtains were over the windows—and James was behind the counter, trying to make conversation with me.

James was a good guy—a human, mated to Pierce Bailey, Nathaniel Bailey’s only progeny and therefore the vampire prince of Seattle—but he still pitched in at the bar a couple times a week for a few hours. He hadn’t let the idea of power go to his head. In fact, neither had Pierce or Nathaniel, from what I could gather.

“How are things going with Derek?” James asked, wiping down the already spotless wooden counter with a bar towel that smelled strongly of bleach.

“Oh,” I said, looking up from my drink—O-negative, on the rocks, made to look like a Bloody Mary in case a human stranger wandered in. James was peering at me with a lopsided smile, but his keen eyes were probably cataloging every last detail of my reaction. “They’re—they’re okay.”

“Looks like it, from where I’m sitting. You guys have been together for months, now, right?”

I shrugged, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. I knew I ought to finish my drink, but I felt weird about it with James watching me. What if I vamped out?

Though, that wasn’t a real worry. James’s pulse was steadily beating in his throat and I had zero interest in biting him. In fact, I hadn’t really had any interest in biting anyone at the restaurant yesterday, either.

The only person I actually wanted to bite was Derek. But it wasn’t a predatory feeling or anything—I’d gone far enough into that aspect of my nature to know the difference.

It was more of a weird sexual thing. Or like, a romance thing? Or maybe it was because I was attracted to him—and only him—and being a vampire now was making it ten kinds of weird.

Or maybe I’d always had a biting kink? That would be ironic. I hadn’t exactly been prolific with my intimate partners before meeting Derek. So I really had no idea what I was or wasn’t into. Becoming a vampire was probably a shitty way to explore that for the first time with my very breakable human boyfriend, though.

Being into guys was newish for me, too. Sort of. Or, more accurately, it was that admitting to myself that I got butterflies in my stomach around cute guys—and that I’d always had plenty of thoughts about what I might want them to do to me—was new.

Becoming a card-carrying creature of the night had somehow made it seem silly to lie to myself on such a fundamental level. Though, that had all narrowed down to Derek anyhow.

I wasn’t sure exactly what I was, label-wise—bi, queer, pan, sexually fluid—whatever. None of that mattered anymore.

I was Derek-sexual.

I hadn’t even noticed anyone else since meeting him.

“Where did you go?” James asked, still studying me. He’d stopped any pretense at wiping down the bar.

“I’m here.”