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His fingers close more firmly around mine. “Emma.”
“I know what the doctor said.” I turn my hand beneath his until our palms meet. “My head understands it. The rest of me is apparently taking longer.”
He studies me more closely. “Why does that scare you?”
“Because I spent years waiting for Spencer to disappoint me, and he always did eventually.”
The words come easier once I start.
“If we had a good weekend, I knew he’d cancel dinner the next week. If he remembered an anniversary, he’d forget something else that mattered a few days later. I learned how to enjoy things without trusting them because I always knew another disappointment was coming.”
Bane’s thumb brushes across my hand.
“This morning, when she couldn’t get the heartbeat, part of me thought I’d finally reached the bad thing I’d been waiting for.”
His fingers tighten around mine.
“I’m not afraid of having the babies,” I continue. “Childbirth scares me, but I know I’ll get through it. I’m going to make mistakes as their mother, and I’ll probably call Mara so often she starts charging consulting fees, but I can handle that.”
“Mom would do it for free and still send invoices, just for the record.”
A watery laugh escapes me, and Bane squeezes my hand before his expression turns serious again.
“I’m afraid of losing this,” I tell him. “You, the girls, the babies, this family we’ve made. I keep waiting for somebody to decide I don’t belong in it anymore.”
Bane sits back as though the words have hit him harder than he expected. “Emma, look at me.”
I lift my eyes.
“You belong here.” My throat tightens. “You don’t have to keep earning your place with us.”
“I know that in theory.”
“I’m talking about more than theory.”
He shifts closer until our knees touch.
“You spent four years with somebody who made you think love depended on how easy you made his life. Every time Spencer disappointed you, you worked harder to compensate for it.”
I look down because hearing it said plainly still hurts.
Bane touches my chin and guides my face back toward him. “I’m staying because I love you, and that isn’t dependent on whether you’re happy every day, whether you need help, or whether life gets difficult.”
“You can’t promise nothing will happen to us.”
“I wouldn’t insult you by trying.”
That makes me look at him properly.
“I can promise I’ll still be here when life gets difficult,” he says, glancing through the glass as Sprout makes another run for it with Babs behind him. “Considering that dog is currently dismantling the nursery before the babies have even used it, I think we’ve already started.”
I laugh and wipe beneath my eye with the heel of my hand.
Bane turns back to me. “You’re going to get scared sometimes, and so am I. That doesn’t change what I’m doing here, Emma.”
Tears blur my eyes.
“You don’t have to prove you’re worth staying for, Emma. You already are.”