Page 91
“But you should.”
“Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome.”
We drive in silence for a long time, and I almost think she’s asleep when she whispers, “Cash?”
“Yeah?”
“I told Shandy no.”
“Huh?”
“About going into business together. She wanted to do a 50/50 split, my designs with her name and face. I said no to 50/50 and I’m going to say no to 75/25. I just wanted you to know.”
Oh hell.
Now I feel like an ass all over again.
She didn’t mention it because she said no. She still should have told me but I guess it doesn’t matter as much as I thought it did. Not if she turned her down. I’m happy about that but also feeling a twinge of guilt. I know how badly she wants to start her own clothing line. Shandy’s name could open doors for her to make that happen. Not to mention making a hell of a lot of money.
But it would also mean Shandy being part of our lives, maybe forever.
And that’s a hard no for me.
A movie is one thing, and I would never ask Maya to choose but the truth is, I don’t think I can be involved in anything that includes Shandy on an ongoing basis. Maybe I need to be the bigger man and do the whole forgive-and-forget thing, but I’ll never forget and I don’t think Shandy deserves forgiveness.
She’s not a nice person. I started to realize that before she cheated but I put up with it because I loved her. Or I thought I did. Ironically, as much as she hurt me, I think losing Maya would hurt a hell of a lot more than losing Shandy did.
Because I love her more than I ever loved Shandy.
And I still haven’t told her.
Maybe right after our first big fight is the time? I’m starting to think so.
But when I look over at her, she’s fast asleep.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Maya
Everyone on the set seemed to breathe a universal sigh of relief once Shandy was gone, including me. She didn’t make my life difficult as far as my role as the head of costume design and wardrobe, but the personal business idea was starting to get on my nerves. Even without Cash in the picture, Shandy gives me bad vibes.
She’s beautiful and talented, depending on your preferences, but she’s emotional, chaotic, and so self-absorbed I’m surprised she even remembered my name on a day-to-day basis. No one on the set likes her, and even the director of the episodes she starred in would roll his eyes every time she tried to control what he was doing.
I don’t know what her connection to Alexa is, but that’s the only reason she’s interested in me, and I’m going to call Alexa today to find out if this is some kind of dealbreaker. Because I’d rather work with Noelle and Jayne on a small scale than get into bed with a big name like Shandy if the tradeoff is dealing with her regularly.
Not to mention the whole thing with Cash.
It’s been five days since our argument, and though I think we’re okay, I’ve had to work hard to move past what happened. I don’t believe he did it on purpose, not the sex part, but he admitted that deep down he wanted to show Shandy he was over her. And that his new girlfriend was as beautiful and successful as she is, just in a different way.
I know I would feel the same way, so I’m not sure what the double standard is about. Probably just my insecurities. I’ve dealt with imposter syndrome on occasion since winning the Oscar, and never more so than after the day Alexa said my designs need work. Usually, I work through it by throwing myself into my next project. But with this, I haven’t done anything but stare at my sketches and try to figure out what’s wrong without changing anything.
Jayne and Noelle both said they have faith in me—and the designs.
Now it’s just a matter of either taking what Alexa said to heart or following my gut and doing what I do.
Jayne has a preorder up on the store website—that doesn’t even have a picture or a sketch—and we’ve had seventeen orders. Sight unseen. No pictures, no sketches, no model. I understand those people are most likely the handful of local fans of the store, who are excited about any kind of merchandise. But there is a description that mentions “sex appeal with comfort.”
