Page 76 of Hate It with You

“What did you do?” I ask, my eyes welling with tears hearing the recount of events.

“I froze.” My breath hitches, upset with myself for ever have judged Alex so harshly. I’m shocked someone like him would have such a reaction. “By the time recess was over, I was walking back to class with a destroyed library book, broken glasses, and an eye so swollen that I’m surprised I found my way back to the building at all.” He pauses, taking a few deep breaths in an effort to control the shaking that has overtaken him. I reach over with my other hand, fully encasing his as a tear slips free of my eye.

When his breathing regulates, he lets out a small laugh. “Roman lost his shit. Only twenty-one years old, he threatened to take down the entire school board for what had happened. He made sure I went to a different middle school than the kids who attended the same elementary school. Even though it was most definitely not convenient for his commute.”

“Then he found out that one of the kids’ fathers was someone he had taken on as a client to build an addition on his home. He went to work the next day and immediately ended the deal. It cost him thousands.”

“When I reached middle school, I reinvented myself and never looked back. I lost the glasses and got contacts. I only read in the comfort of my own home, and I started training. Roman found a small boxing gym in town that agreed to teach me even though they didn’t typically teach kids as young as I was.” My heart breaks at his admission while a sense of peace overcomes me when Alex’s mask finally falls away.

He glances at my face, seeing my pitiful expression, and adds, “The change was for the better, trust me. I’m thankful for the training. I fell in love with fighting because it gave me a sense of power and control I had never felt before. Over time, I was able to push past that freeze response.”

“When I found out Roman lost thousands, I lost it. I went to him, crying, unable to control myself. I was angry, hurt, confused. I kept repeating to him, ‘I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry.’ But he explained that it wasn’t my fault.”

“I didn’t ask to be beaten. I didn’t ask to be born with shitty eyesight, or to have a brain that’s wired to love reading. I didn’t ask for my parents to die so young…” He pauses before looking at me to continue, my own gaze matching his. He turns to me on the bed, his other hand going on top of mine, our hands intertwined, squeezing each other tight.

“I’m going to tell you exactly what Roman told me. I don’t ever want to hear you apologize for the actions of other people. I don’t ever want to hear you apologize for who you are, or the things you love. Because I lo—” He pauses, clearing his throat before he continues, “I care about you, Beth, in your entirety as you are. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Tears stream down my face as I look toward his knuckles again. “But your hands— this never would’ve happened if it weren’t for me.”

He shakes his head. “My actions are my own. Besides, you should see the other guy.” I snicker at Alex’s joke, only a half smile reaching both of our lips.

Leaning over, he plants a small kiss on my forehead. “Are you okay?” he asks, his eyes peering into mine. His thumb reaches up as he lightly brushes where Frank hit me earlier, attempting to soothe any lingering pain.

I nod my head, a yawn escaping my lips as the events of tonight finally catch up with my body.

“I’ll let you get some sleep, but I’ll be by in the morning, okay?” He turns away, ready to move off the bed as his hands untangle from mine. Leaving, I’m sure, because I’ve never let him stay the night before. Because I’ve never stayed the night at his place before.

But as he turns his back to me, I can’t imagine anything I’d want less than to spend another night with a wall separating me from him.

“Wait,” I say, grabbing his hand again. He looks back at me as I plead, “Stay… please.”

He falls back onto the bed, his arm reaching over my shoulders as he pulls me into his side. “Whatever you need, baby.”

I don’t miss the way he smiles against the top of my head as I slowly drift to sleep, feeling the safest I’ve ever been in Alex’s arms.

34

BETH

Iawake to the savory smell of bacon invading my nose. Blinking my eyes open, the faint sound of the sizzle and a few pans clattering around comes from the kitchen. Slowly sitting myself up in bed, I stretch out my neck, the events of the night before rushing back to me.

He came for me. I thought Frank was behind me and that chapter of my life was closed, but last night was a reminder that it isn’t. That I need to find a way to move forward while protecting myself.

And the ones that I love.

Sienna had been here last night. Having seen Frank, I can’t help the guilt that overtakes me of putting her through this again all these years later. Not to mention Benny will more than likely find out at some point. Though I still can’t bring myself to reach for my phone to tell him.

The thought of having to face Alex this morning is overwhelming to say the least.

Pulling myself out of bed, I rub at my stomach where my jeans had been cutting into me all night. Grabbing a pair of leggings from my dresser and my favorite hoodie, I change clothes. The new clothing provides me comfort in more ways than one.

The fact that Frank had his hands all over the shirt I was wearing the night before makes me want to burn it.

With a deep breath, I step out into the kitchen, knowing I’ll find Alex behind the pan of bacon. As I make my way over to the kitchen island, I watch his back flex and move beneath his oversized T-shirt as he tends to three different pans.

Surveying the stove has my mouth watering. An array of eggs, bacon, and hash browns all sizzle as they cook to perfection over the heat. Considering my pots and pans are still packed away in a box somewhere, these must be his. Along with the food, given that my fridge is empty.

“Smells delicious.” My voice is hoarse as I say my first words of the morning.