Page 60 of Hate It with You

My hand tightens around Alex’s moments before he stands to look outside. He turns to me. “Stay here.” The command is sharp, firm, leaving no room for disagreement when he rushes out of my room, followed by the sound of my apartment door closing behind him.

I’m left frozen in bed before I catch sight of the notes I fell asleep next to. The note threatening Alex with harm comes into view, my once numb body buzzing to life with adrenaline.

My limbs move quickly to spring me out of bed. Grabbing my steel baseball bat from the corner of my room, I throw on my slides and make my way out of my apartment on shaking legs.

I pause before descending the steps, listening closely for any lingering threat below. The building is quiet, so I press on, moving slowly down the steps and through the open door that leads into the back room of my bookstore.

The hand on my baseball bat tightens when I finally reach my bookstore, one of the large windows now shattered across the floor, pieces of glass covering the books that rest on the table in front of it, a few of them having fallen to the floor in the damage.

I gasp at the sight as Alex stands there, assessing the situation. He whips his head back at me, a look of shock overcoming his face before his eyebrows pinch together and his mouth forms a straight line.

“I told you to stay put.” His voice lowers, an anger seething through his words. Though I don’t think the anger is directed toward me when I notice his grip tighten around the rock in his hand. And the note that’s attached to it.

“Let me see that,” I say, taking a step toward Alex. I rest my bat against the front counter and hold out my hand to Alex as I make my way over to him.

He holds it behind his back, taking a step away. Now it’s my turn to be angry.

“Alex, let me see it.” My voice is firm, unwavering, despite the adrenaline still coursing through my veins.

We stand at a stalemate, his blue eyes searching mine for answers that he won’t find. Eventually, I win our standoff, and he hands the note to me.

My worst thoughts come to life as I read the note.

What’d I say about new friends?

“Tell me what’s going on, Beth. I can help you.” Alex does his best to hide the frustration in his voice, but I can feel it seeping through each word.

“No, you can’t. This is nothing.” I drop the rock, crumpling the note in my hand, unable to look at it any longer.

I was so close to telling him the truth tonight. This note serves as a reminder that I made the correct decision in keeping this from him. I can admit that Alex has grown on me. But for his safety, I can’t admit that to him.

“Beth, please, I’m begging you…” His voice strains, a glint of pain in his eyes, caught in the moonlight filtering through the broken window.

The pain in his eyes mirrors my own.

“Baby, I want to keep you safe…” He reaches for me, but I reel back.

He may not understand, but I’m doing the same thing for him. Only the distance between us will keep him safe.

“I don’t need your protection.” I lace a bite into my tone, causing an ache to spread in my chest.

“Don’t do this, Beth. Don’t pull away from me,” he urges. Though I don’t miss the small crack in his voice as he says the words.

“Pull away from you? You forced yourself into my life to the point of breaking into my home in the middle of the night.” I throw my hands up, hoping to put the focus on something other than the note still crumpled in my hand.

“That’s not what happened, and you know it. I’m your landlord. I have a key for emergencies.” His eyes darken, though his voice remains calm as mine rises.

“Oh, and tonight was an emergency?”

He’s on me in an instant, hands grabbing my waist, my body pressing against his as he fists his hand in the oversized T-shirt that hangs off my body. His T-shirt that he left in my apartment. The one I haven’t been able to take off.

“You were writhing in pain, Beth. I didn’t need to check the cameras because I could hear you through my bedroom wall, screaming for someone to help.” Tears prick his eyes the same as my own, though his don’t fall, unlike mine streaming down my cheeks. “Ask anything of me, anything at all, and I’ll oblige. But never ask me to sit back and do nothing when you’re in pain.” He brings his lips to my cheeks, kissing away my tears. “I would die before I let any harm come to you.”

I’m gripping his biceps, hanging on to him for dear life when his last words hit me square in the chest.

I would die before I let any harm come to you.

My worst fears are brought to life by his admission. Hearing that he’d so happily put himself in harm's way to protect me is why I refuse to let him help me.