Page 3 of Hate It with You

Shaking off my thoughts, I smile at the women standing before me. “It’s nice to meet both of you.”

With a deep breath, I turn toward my brothers, hoping to change the subject and dissipate my newfound obsession. Though it doesn’t do much to ease my mind as her name plays on repeat in my head. It takes all my strength to maintain my composure and salvage my first impression, trying my best not to steal another glance at Beth.

I last thirty seconds before losing the fight with myself.

I glance her way only to find her already looking in my direction. Her eyes dart from mine the moment I look at her. I linger long enough to catch her looking back in my direction a second time.

She does her best to hide the reddening of her cheeks as she turns her nose higher when she looks away. A silent “get over yourself” that has me suppressing a chuckle.

Cat, meet mouse.

After a brief conversation with my brothers regarding Theo’s newly purchased Mustang, Leo and I make our way to the house. With the others lagging, I lower my voice as I ask, “Think I have a shot with Beth?”

Leo glances in her direction, then back at me. “Not a chance.”

I burst into laughter with Leo as we enter the house. Though I steal another look behind me as I do, finding Beth once again contradicting her own attitude as she glares in my direction.

When she evades eye contact with me again, the pull between us grows stronger. An invisible force tugs on something deep within me, begging me to get closer to her. It’s far from a familiar feeling, my brain threatening to convince me it’s all in my head, but it’s something I feel deep within my bones.

She’s mine. She just doesn’t know it yet.

1

BETH

Present Day

“Son of a bitch!” I scream into the void that is my empty bookstore. Throwing the screwdriver I’m holding in my hand down on the floor, I glare at the uncooperative bookshelf pieces lying in front of me. A twinge hits the base of my spine at the aggressive force of my motions, the rug that lies on top of the concrete floor doing nothing to give my tailbone reprieve.

This is the tenth and final bookshelf I’ve attempted to build today, yet it’s no easier than the first. No longer being able to look at the walnut wood pieces, I kick them away from me, surrendering defeat.

The instruction manual ended up on the other side of the room a few hours ago, right around bookshelf number six.

Lying back on the multicolored floral rug I found at a local thrift shop here in Portland, Oregon, I stretch my arms above my head. After blood has successfully worked its way to my fingertips and toes, I bring my knees into my chest, slowly rocking back and forth. The hard floor bites into each vertebra of my spine, but I sigh at the relief brought to my tailbone.

If money weren’t an issue, I would’ve sprung to get all new wood flooring. Along with fifteen custom built-in bookshelves, with intricate details woven into the molding across the top of each, two large sofas, and several reading chairs to spread out across the store.

Sadly, money isn’t that easily acquired, and if it were, I certainly wouldn’t be lucky enough to know how to obtain it.

So here I lay, on the floor of my soon-to-open bookstore, surrounded by nine slightly crooked bookshelves. The tenth one, currently dismembered, lies next to me.

Unable to withstand the sharp pain in my spine much longer, I force my body into a sitting position with a palpable lack of grace.

The grunt that leaves my lips when I do is a reminder of how often I’ve skipped the gym these past three months.

Three months.

That’s how long I’ve been setting up my bookstore, and I’m only one month away from opening shop. I’m so close to my goal, and it feels…overwhelming. Terrifying. Distressing.

Seeing as how I’m down to the last few dollars of my business loan, not that I had that much to begin with, I’ve had to move forward doing everything myself. It’s not that building a few bookshelves is a big deal. It’s not. Though after taking into account how long my to-do list is, “building a few bookshelves” has become a much bigger task than it first seemed.

The late winter rain has been in full force this past month, so I haven’t had a chance to fully scrape off the old “Bitter Bean Coffee House” logo from the window that takes up half of the front door. Two large windows span the entrance of the building on either side of the old traditionally detailed wooden door. The late evening sun shines through the windows as I look at the old half-scraped coffee logo.

Maybe this will get less overwhelming when it’s my logo on the door.

On the opposite side of the shop sits the old coffee counter I’ve turned into the register area. The expanse of the counter, taking up half the store’s length, is a little more than necessary for its intended purpose at my shop. Though if I’ve learned anything these past few months, it’s that I need to use the materials already at my disposal.

Another “Bitter Bean” logo is painted on the front side of the extended counter. A reminder that I still need to apply a fresh coat of paint to the store. It should’ve been the first thing I did, but I’ve been indecisive about the color.