Page 9 of These Wicked Hearts

“Fine.” I think he’s done but he continues. “But none of this is worth it if you’re unhappy. I want you to know that.”

“Chen—”

“No. That’s it.” He sighs. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll see you this weekend. Last one.”

Thank fuck.

“See ya.”

I hang up and sink back into the couch. I really need some air. I get up and grab my zip-up before I can think twice about it, then I head up to the rooftop access. When I make it up on top, I head to the edge. We’re allowed up here, and the safety wall is supposed to prevent any accidental falls. We’re allowed to hold parties up here too, but they have to be scheduled to allow security to provide extra safety. There are a few lounging areas, but I go right to the wall.

My shoes dig into the brick as I pull myself up, and I nearly sway forward as I adjust. My stomach swoops but sends a thrill up my spine. I could do it. I could lean forward and not think about anything ever again.

It would stop everything.

I swing my legs over and dare to look down again. My gut twists as I stare down at the unsuspecting cars below. Just one breath. One little movement. Shift forward and it’ll be done.

Fear claws at my chest, but I shove it away. If I think, then I won’t do it. I want to. I want it to stop. I want it more than anything. It’s probably my only way out. At least the only way our reputation would stay intact. I move a little closer to the edge, and my nails bite into the concrete as my stomach sinks. I look down. This is it. I can⁠—

A throat clears behind me.

I whip around and see a man step out from the shadows. He clears his throat and keeps walking forward, slowly, and I can faintly make out his features now. The bright city lights around us allow the rooftop to glow softly. Not enough to clearly see, but enough to navigate.

With his hands in his pockets, he stops a few feet to my left. He’s huge. Broad shoulders and defined muscles under a hoodie. He has shaggy black hair and a trimmed beard. “What the fuck are you doing?”

He glances around. “Me!? You’re the one sitting on the edge of a skyscraper.”

“It’s not a skyscraper.” I turn back to the drop. The wind presses against my back like it’s trying to assist me. I could still do it. I can.

“How is your stomach not all swoopy?”

“Swoopy? Are you fucking five?”

“And a half actually.” He grins.

My lip twitches despite myself, and I bite the inside of my cheek. “Just leave me alone.”

He walks closer, putting his meaty arms on the wall and resting his chin on them where they’re folded on top of the concrete, like he’s resting his head on a desk at school after being told to keep his head down.

“I’m kind of lonely.”

Okay and? What the hell is wrong with him? “Not my problem.”

“What if I want to make it your problem?”

I drag a hand through my hair, scraping my scalp with my nails. Why won’t he shut up? Why is he here! He’s so irritating. From afar he looked dangerous. Up close he’s all crooked smiles and this restless energy. Boyish and ridiculous.

“Why are you even up here? Most people use their balconies.”

He shrugs his broad shoulders. “Didn’t feel like being in my apartment. I moved recently and I’m⁠—”

“I wasn’t really asking.”

“Yeah, but I’m really telling.” He grins. “Sorry, I’m kind of a mess tonight.”

“And you thought dumping on a stranger was a smart idea?”

“You know. You’re kind of bitchy.”