Page 31 of Midnight Ink

“I’m trying hard to make this shop everything he wanted. I feel like I’m failing.”

Julian’s quiet for a moment, but I watch him and feel a soft smile slip onto my face. Jamie’s teasing comes to mind. He might not be wrong. I care about Julian, a lot, and I meant what I said. He’s my best friend. He’s everything to me, and maybe . . . I don’t know. Maybe my head’s just a mess right now, but I can’t deny the soft rush of heat when he’s with me. We’re at the shop together a lot, but there are so many nights Julian just stays here. We hang out all the time, and I’m always happiest when he’s here.

Then there are the parts of my brain that tell me it’s wrong. I don’t know where the voice comes from, and I don’t think I truly believe it.

There are a lot of things I need to figure out over this break.

The first few years after Maddox’s death, the thought of someone new felt impossible. I’ve tried. I’ve met up with a couple of people, but I fucking lost it.

Maddox was my first everything. I was nineteen when we met, and I don’t even know who I am outside of him. Outside of us. I wonder about Julian and what he’s been through. He’s had a couple of boyfriends scattered throughout the time I’ve known him, but nothing serious, and nothing that lasted more than a few months.

Then there’s Elijah, and I know they aren’t together but that doesn’t make me feel any better. “Have you ever been in love?” I watch his handsome face twist with confusion. Something else flashes across it I can’t grab onto. He’s quiet, and I watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs, then he looks at me. My heart nearly stops. “Yeah, Ian. I have.”

I love Julian’s eyes. It’s not just that they’re pretty. There’s something so solid and warm about them that eases my mind when I’m in their path. Maddox’s eyes were always filled with mischief. Every time he’d give me this wide-eyed look I knew we were in for trouble.

With Julian it’s like I can look into his eyes and know everything will be okay.

“What happened?”

Julian takes a small breath then looks ahead. “He’s in love with someone else.”

I don’t know who this mystery man is, but I hate him. “Well, he’s an idiot.”

He laughs a little then swings his gaze back to me, heavy with something I can’t place. “He’s not an idiot.” He shrugs. “He’s the best guy I know.”

EIGHT

JULIAN

Isee Ian as I walk up to the shop with my bag in hand, and my nerves rattle me. I’ve never been on a plane before, and worry has weighed down my gut all morning. Seeing him ahead eases my mind a bit, though. He’s talking to himself. He hasn’t seen me yet and I take a moment to look at him. The wheels of my bag scrape on the concrete. He looks up and gives me a smile.

“Hey.” He smiles.

“What’s wrong?”

“Huh?”

“You were talking to yourself.”

“Oh, I was just trying to figure out how long it will take to get there. We have a layover in North Carolina. Then like three to four hours straight to Puerto Rico after that.”

“You got the tickets, right?”

“Anna dropped them off last night.” I wheel my bag around and place it in the trunk, then grab his, setting it next to mine. “Wait, I want the ashes.”

“They aren’t going anywhere.”

“I’d feel better if I had them.”

“Ian.” I place my hands on his shoulders and feel the nerves roll off him. “They’re safe. They aren’t going anywhere. You don’t want to accidentally spill them while you’re holding it. Or break it.” I rub his back trying to handle this gently.

I see the war in his eyes, but finally he nods.

We get in the car and Ian pulls out his phone.

“You got the tickets?” He nods, handing the folder to me. I open it and frown. “Where’s Anna?”

“She’s going to meet us there.”