Page 29 of Midnight Ink

I love Maddox so much, but it’s killing me. Maybe this is what I need.

“I love you so much.” I smooth my fingers along the top. I need to take the first step. I grab my phone and text Julian then Anna and ask if they can stop by later.

Something has to change.

And it has to start with me.

The bell rings, and I watch Julian walk into the shop and eye me suspiciously before his eyes land on Anna who’s in the corner with one of my chairs. She’s been in the corner with it for a bit, but she’s been quiet and I’m not going to fuck up a good thing. “What are you doing?” He asks her.

“Huh?” Her head picks up. “Oh!” Grinning maniacally, she turns the chair around.

“No.” I say to her.

“What?!” She blinks innocently.

“Peel it off.” My eyes drop to the chair and the sparkly red letters that say Cuck Chair with devil horns above the first C and a forked tail underlining the entire name.

“Really adds a little something.” She smiles.

“I told you, no more decorations after the last time.”

“What? You wanted hanging⁠—”

“Candles. Candles, yes, for Halloween, to make it look witchy. What did you do, Anna?”

“Hung vibrators from the⁠—”

“Ceiling, yes, you did.”

“You said I need to tone it down.” She throws her hands toward the chair. “This is toning it down!”

“Anna, there has to be a median between normal and cuck chairs and vibrators.”

“Yeah, it’s called being a boring beige bitch.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Bunch of losers.”

“Anyway.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. Later. I’ll deal with that later. “I need to talk to you both and ask something.”

Anna and Julian give me their full attention. I wonder how much Anna knows about what’s going on. She and Julian are pretty close, but I don’t know if they hang out after work. I know she’s happy to have two weeks off.

My eyes meet Julian’s. He looks wary. I don’t blame him.

I still haven’t thanked him for taking care of me.

Everything’s a mess, and at the end of the mess is the truth.

I need help.

“Do you know what’s going on?” I ask her.

“That Jules found you piss drunk passed out in Maddy’s chair with vomit on your shirt, then he dragged you upstairs and changed you then found your hot-pink dildo and waited for you to wake up and then gave you an ultimatum?” She blinks. “No, why? What happened?”

My eyes swing to Jules. He throws his arms up. “I didn’t tell her about the dildo.”

“I’ve always known about the dildo, Ian.” She grins.

“Any. Way!” I look at them both. “For the next two weeks we are closing and I am taking this time to do some thinking. I agree with you.” I look at Julian and hate how defeated he looks. “I’m sorry for Sunday, I was awful to you. I . . . I’m . . .” I drag my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry.” I scrub my face and jolt when pressure surrounds me, and I realize it’s Julian’s arms.

I sink into it. His warmth hits my skin, bringing a sort of peace I seem to only find when I’m with him. I can’t lose him. He’s right. He’s so fucking right. I’m running myself into the ground, but this is hard. It’s hard to accept I’m failing.