Page 14 of Matched By the Dragon

An hour later, the boxes were all shuffled around and my stuff was in the office.

“Our room,” my bear corrected me. “Not so much for territory, but we should call it that. He flinches every time he brings up his parents and I don’t like it. I can’t maul dead dragons but I can make myself at home in what was once their space and erase them from the house.”

We invited Slyvin to stay for lunch, but he wanted to get back home to his mate, Ryder, and his kids. I didn’t blame him. I didn’t like the idea of being away from Brad and the cubs either. Brad could take care of all of them, but he shouldn’t have to do it all on his own. I hadn’t lied to him. I did enjoy seeing him with the cubs. Sometimes he’d randomly smell so stressed out that I knew he was either thinking about the past or having what I’d come to call ‘mini panic attacks.’ They were these silent little things where he’d sit so still and hold the boys tight as if he was waiting for an ambush predator to round the sofa and try to snatch the babies away.

“I made iced tea and lemonade. I didn’t know which or either you liked,” Brad walked into the room, carrying a baby on either hip. “I made some pizza bites too. I know it’s sort of kid food but…”

“I like all of those things, mate,” I grinned. “Honestly, I like most things as long as I can eat it before it tries to eat me.” I almost leaned in to steal a kiss before I remembered we still had the invisible wall up between us. It was cracking. I’d kissed him on the forehead earlier and now he was rising up on his tiptoes to… Kiss me? He kissed my cheek. It was a quick peck but the spot burned as if he sparked an ember into a fire.

“Ready to eat? Moving all the stuff sounded like hard work,” Brad said, heading back into the kitchen blushing.

We ate the pizza bites, and I had a glass of the tea and of the lemonade. I really did like both of them and didn’t want any of his hard work to go to waste. I opened my mouth to say that Liza liked to top hers with pieces of little cubed ham, but stopped myself. He didn’t want to hear about the dead bear who came before him.

“Where did you go just now?” he asked and I fought off the urge to flinch.

“Just thinking,” I shook my head.

“About?” he asked.

His scent turned nervous and I let out a long, slow breath as Baby Resin crunched on a pizza bite. Was it better to stick to not saying something or just to tell him this made me think of Liza? I didn’t want him to never make pizza bites again or to feel like she was here in the room with us. I sort of always felt like that, but he shouldn’t have to.

“Liza,” I said, planning to leave it at that.

“Oh!! Did she like these too?” he asked.

“A lot,” I nodded, with a tired smile. “She liked to fry up little cubes of diced ham to put on top.”

“Jac was a weirdo. He liked putting sardines fresh out of the can on his,” Brad laughed.

“That’s totally a bear move. Did he grow up near water?” I grinned.

“No, right here in the city like me,” Brad laughed. “He just liked sardines. Now, I’ll eat them in bear form because tastebuds are different, but not in human form and not on pizza bites.”

“I like them separately,” I told him as Baby Resin ambled across the table and plopped off toward me. I caught him with one arm and pulled him against me.

“I think the cubs approve of you,” Brad teased.

“Well, that’s a start. Now, if I could get their carrier to like me a little more,” I winked at him.

“It’s not that I don’t like you. Like is irrelevant once…” he stopped and sighed.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now if you’re not up to it,” I said. “The last thing I want to do is stress you out.”

“Everything except the kids becomes irrelevant once the panic or survival mode or whatever you want to call it kicks in and I don’t know how long that’s going to last. My doctor thinks it’ll pass when I’m out of the post-partum period but that can be like a year and a half. Only my hormones have returned to normal according to the blood work. You don’t want to hear about my hormones,” he scrunched up his nose, blushing.

“I don’t mind. I think after a certain age, if your partner is someone who has or can have kids, you have to talk about adult stuff, and everyone has hormones. They’re sort of important. So, your doctor thinks it’s hormones and your therapist thinks it’s trauma. What do you think?” I asked, rocking Baby Resin as he settled down into the crook of my arm.

Baby Oaklan flopped off the table at his carrier, but Brad caught him even before his back paws were off the table and held him close.

“Eh, sometimes I think it’s survival instincts kicking in and sometimes…. I think my family just messed me up beyond repair.”

“It could be both – not beyond repair, but your family sounds horrible, no offense.”

“No, they were horrible.”

“But it’s not beyond repair. You’re not living like some hermit avoiding doctors and therapists and everyone. Plus, your kids are happy and healthy. You’re doing what you need to do. Maybe it’s just healing?” I said, stretching my legs out under the table. My toes brushed against his calf and despite how quickly I pulled away Brad still blushed.

“Do that again,” my bear whispered into my thoughts as the lightning bolts from brushing against him still pinged around my body. I didn’t do it again. This was a serious conversation, and the magic of the true-mate response would just have to wait. I wasn’t too concerned that Brad would go into heat because having little ones around was a natural ‘anti-heat’ treatment.