Page 102 of Sand in My Boots

“Juliana, your part was not small. Not by a long shot. Don’t you see that?”

“It wasn’t half of what I was given.”

I balk at that. Even after working and owning the resort for three years, it’s an amount of money I can’t grasp. I don’t have the privilege she does.

She ignores my interruption and keeps speaking. “I knew going in what I was doing, that I wouldn’t get it back. I knew it wouldn’t fail. I’m glad I was right.” She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “This was right. Believe it or not, process it how you need to, but this was the right way to invest the money. You are worth the investment, Cameron Fairbanks. The last month only proves it more.” Her voice cracks at the end, emotion governing her.

And I can’t help but be moved, too. That she would do this for me. A person she knew once upon a time. That she would believe so strongly in Whispering Tide—in me—to back the resort. It could have totally failed, and she’d be out all that money.

“It’s huge, Juli. And I need time to process it.”

Tears pool in the corners of her eyes. “What are you saying?”

“That I need time to process it.” My voice rises unintentionally. “I don’t know what to make of all of this. I need . . .”

The problem is, I don’t know exactly what I need.

Time, for sure. Time to make sense of what this means moving forward with our relationship.

Space from her. With her so close, I’ll never figure it out.

For the first time since she plowed back into my life, I’m grateful for the distance separating us. In a few hours, I’ll get on a plane, and I’ll continue to grapple with this new knowledge.

The itch to get going, to put physical distance between us, urges me out of the chair. “I need to pack.”

It’s a lie. I made sure everything was packed and ready to go earlier. Actually, another lie. Juli made sure I was all packed. She did my laundry this morning so I wouldn’t have to return home with dirty clothes. She felt bad about the sand, knowing how I feel about it. I told her she didn’t have to, but she was insistent.

“This isn’t the end of us?” The sound of her standing hits when I’m at the doorway. Her voice is so small, so timid. I wouldn’t believe she could sound like that if I didn’t hear it with my own ears.

I have no good answer for her. I don’t want it to be the end of us, but I’m not sure I can let this go. Living with the knowledge she gave me millions of dollars to get where I’m at, having that hang between us . . . I don’t know how I accept it. How I don’t “owe” it to her. It’s a surefire way to light a match on a new relationship.

As much as I care for her, it’s another point in the “I’m not good enough” column. I’d hate for her to resent me in the future. And she eventually would. She’d realize she has so much more than I ever will. Even with how well the resort is doing, the plans for the future, nothing’s a given. When understanding dawns I could lose everything and have nothing, she’ll come to her senses.

When that day comes, I won’t blame her. I’ll also be so far into this, it will be a major blow to my heart.

Somewhere during the last month, my heart opened and scooped hers up.

“Maybe it’s the start of the end.”

Her gasp ricochets around the silent room, but I can’t let it affect me more. At least more than she already has.

I can’t turn around and look at her, face the truth. Because, yeah. I’ll cave. And right now, there’s too much at stake for me to make hasty decisions.

Even if it means walking away.

Will it be the end of us?

I can only hope not.

Chapter 26

Juli

Cameron retreats from the room. My knees give out, the chair breaking my fall. Tears stream down my cheeks at the uncertainty of everything.

Should I have told him about the money?

I have no good answer. What was I supposed to do? Say, “Oh, by the way, a few years ago, I put up a few million dollars of capital for you to have your dream job? Pass the rolls.”