Page 57 of The Summer That Changed Us

‘I’ve had a bilateral mastectomy and had my ovaries removed.’ Robyn blurted out in a rush. ‘I find it hard to talk about it. Hardly surprising when my friends and family seem intent on reminding me how much less of a woman I am at every opportunity. I should go.’

Robyn pushed her chair back so rapidly that the legs scraped harshly on the patio and strode to the gate leading down to the beach, disappearing through it before either of them could react.

‘Shit.’ Katie stared at Grace, horrified. ‘I should have guessed when she was in the shop; she spent ages reading a poster in the shop aimed at ladies who’ve had mastectomies.’

‘And she lost her mum to breast cancer, too.’ Grace groaned. ‘Poor chick. We can’t let her leave like this.’ She ran after her; Robyn was almost down at the beach.

‘Robyn, I’m sorry. Please come and talk to us,’ she shouted at the top of her voice. ‘We made a deal, remember? To bare our souls.’

Robyn stopped in her tracks and turned back to look at her. She’d got her attention. Good.

‘The Sea Glass Sisterhood,’ she pressed on. ‘We’re in this together. Friends. So, let us be a friend to you.’

Robyn rubbed her face, hesitating, and then nodded. Grace breathed a sigh of relief as she met Robyn halfway up the steps.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Grace, pulling her into a hug. ‘You are an amazing, brave and fabulous woman, with more assets than I can shake a stick at. I’m so sorry if I made you feel any differently.’

‘Apology accepted.’ Robyn managed a smile. ‘Providing you pour me another gin.’

Grace swept an arm in front of her, leading the way back to where Katie was waiting at the table.

‘Coming right up.’

Chapter Twenty-Two

‘I’m so sorry.’ Katie stood up as Robyn reappeared on the patio and held her arms out to hug her. ‘Who said you can’t keep a secret in this village, eh? I had no idea. And I’m supposed to be an expert.’

‘Not your fault,’ Robyn said gruffly. ‘With my clothes on I look the same as anyone else.’

Secretly Robyn was pleased to have had an excuse to come back. She’d regretted her actions as soon as she’d stood up, aware she was behaving like a sulky teen, but her ego wouldn’t let her easily turn back.

Grace pressed a hand to her forehead. ‘And there was me, telling you to strip off to go in the hot tub. If I’d known … ’

Robyn shrugged. ‘But you weren’t to know, and I apologise for overreacting. I kept it secret because I didn’t want anyone’s pity, and because people never know how to react when I tell them. And because … ’ she swallowed, desperately trying to keep control of her emotions. ‘Because I feel guilty.’

Katie frowned. ‘What can you possibly have to feel guilty about?’

The sky had darkened, and the air had a chill to it. Robyn shivered. She’d been out for hours and hadn’t taken her mobile with her. Finn would be worried. Or would he? she thought with a pang. Maybe he’d be relieved.

‘Oh Katie,’ she sighed. ‘Where to start.’

‘Let’s go inside.’ Grace put an arm around her waist. ‘And if you want to talk about it, we’re listening, OK?’

Once inside, the women decided that more gin might make them maudlin and that hot chocolate would be much more soothing. While Grace heated milk and Katie made herself comfy on the sofa, Robyn paced the large open-plan space, trying to put her thoughts in order. The sun had sunk out of view, but the sky still held its amber glow, and the room was drenched in gentle, golden light. Grace’s presence was evident now: there was a new rug on the floor; a vase of pink lilies; fat creamy candles, their scent adding a sweet warmth to the room and photographs everywhere. Of Myles, and of Grace and Myles, and some of a woman with a baby in her arms. The little touches had knocked the stark edges off the room, made it feel more like a home than the showhouse it had been the first time she’d seen it. Robyn felt safe here, and she knew she was among friends. Each time she met them, her affection for these two women deepened. She knew she had to confide in them. Firstly, because that was what friends did and secondly because she was running out of options; if she didn’t find a way to reach Finn soon, she risked losing him altogether.

‘Here we go.’ Grace set a table with three mugs of hot chocolate and a box of truffles on the table. ‘Dig in, girls.’

Robyn picked up a mug, chose a chocolate from the box and walked across to the long sweep of glass which separated them from the outdoors. She bit into a dark chocolate truffle and wiped the cocoa powder from her mouth, preparing herself to speak.

You can do this, she told herself. She turned back to Grace and Katie, sitting side by side on the sofa: Grace, smiling encouragement; Katie, face taut with worry.

‘Finn and I were about to start trying for a family when I found out I was at a high risk of developing breast or ovarian cancer,’ Robyn began. ‘I had to make a choice between having the baby that Finn wanted, or having elective surgery to beat the odds of developing cancer. I chose to save myself.’

‘That Finn wanted?’ Grace asked astutely. ‘Not you?’

Robyn nodded. Heat infused her face; it was the first time she’d ever admitted the truth to another soul.

Katie shook her head. ‘What you’ve been through … it puts my problems into perspective. I feel embarrassed for making a fuss. Your situation is life and death stuff. If those pictures come to light, I’ll be humiliated, but I’ll live.’