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Elijah snorts in derision and agreement as he pulls through the gate as it opens, signaling that we’re back.

“Rachelle and Liliana are home with the kids. Do you want me to stay?” he asks, pulling off a key from the ring he has hanging from the key fob.

“No,” I deny. “I’m just going to go right to bed. I’m really tired.”

“Okay. Leave your bags where Calvin can grab them. He’s going to want to clean the costume,” Elijah says. “Maybe leave them outside your door. He’ll insist.”

I don’t have it in me to argue, so I nod, taking the key from him.

“That’s your key,” Elijah says. “If you need a key ring, I’ll pick one up for you.”

“Are you serious?” I squeak out, blinking at him.

I very rarely get a key to where I’m living. There’s no reason to when there are curfews, people are always around to let me into the house, and I’ve always considered myself a guest until I get kicked out. It doesn't matter that the reasons I have to leave are usually because of the illegal activities my foster parents are involved in.

The medical group home was the most stable environment I’ve ever been in. Until now.

“Well, yeah,” Elijah says, confused. “You should have a key, Noor. You live here. How long that remains true is completely up to you. The ball is in your court. We really like that you’re with us.”

The world goes blurry as I nod, blinking away tears as I push open the door with my key and a paper bag of promises. Elijah twists to pick my gear up from the backseat, and I take that as well.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says with a wry grin. “We keep insane hours at the club.”

And yet, he’s more of a parent than mine were. Ironic, huh?

“That’s fine,” I say, my voice fucked as I force a smile and shut the door.

Elijah waits until I walk inside the house after using my own key before he drives away, and I try to breathe around the golf ball sized rock in my throat.

“You’re home,” Liliana says with a grin, greeting me in the foyer. “Are you okay?”

“I just had a really odd conversation with Elijah,” I admit. “But he also made it seem completely normal.”

“Elijah has moments where I don’t want to stab him,” she says, shrugging. “He’s gotten better as he’s gotten older. He was insufferable as a kid.”

“He’s not so bad,” I shrug. “I’m exhausted from tonight. I’m going straight to bed.”

“That sounds good. The girls are asleep. Rachelle and I were going to watch a movie before bed. Are you sure you’re too tired to stay up?”

“Yeah,” I sigh, sad that my life is too fucked up to enjoy something normal. “I’ll take a raincheck though.”

“Okay,” she nods. “Good night.”

“Night,” I say, my eyes threatening to close as I head to my room.

I leave my bag just outside my door before I close it. Tossing the pharmacy bag onto the bed, I practically run to the bathroom. Pulling off my clothes, I walk into the shower after turning on the water. It’s freezing, but I don’t care.

My fingers pull out the rest of the hidden pins and unbraid my hair before shampooing and conditioning it. I think about how odd it is that I’m doing this so late when I’m this tired, but I can’t help myself.

Nothing else is normal, and my life is a mess. I can only focus on what I can control, or I’ll find myself with my knife cutting myself. One more secret I have to hide.

My heart can’t handle it, so I ignore the tears as they fall, gasping as I brush my hair out. I wish I had a body scrub to torture my skin with. I want to scour away the layer of skin where the guys touched me. Maybe it’ll help remove the memory of what they did.

I’m so mad. There’s a kaleidoscope of emotions passing on a loop through me. They follow me as I dry off with a towel, through my hair routine as I dry my hair with the blow dryer, and explode as I finally stare at my reflection in the mirror.

“Why!!” I scream. Once I start, I can’t stop, and I’m gasping for air as I drop onto my ass on the ground. I’m naked except for my towel, and I bang my head against the cabinet angrily.

Why couldn’t I just go to a normal fucking school where everyone ignored me? In a perfect world, the Devils might flirt with me, and maybe I would end up sleeping with them under different circumstances. One that dealt in consent and mutual respect.