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For some reason that does the opposite of reassure me as I nod numbly. Well, I wish I was numb, because I feel really depressed all of a sudden. This family is incredible. They took me in without blinking an eye, and I may have fucked it all up.
Alastair had unprotected sex with me. Well, can I call it sex? I had multiple orgasms, but I never was able to consent. I guess they hate fucked me?
I just don’t understand why. Power? Control?
I’m really in my head until I suck in a breath and ask the question that’s the loudest in my mind.
“What if I needed the morning-after pill?” I ask finally, refusing to look up.
The truck careens to the side, making me shriek, and I finally look up to see Elijah gritting his teeth as he fights for control of the vehicle before he pulls over. He’s half in a ditch, but he seems not to care as he pulls the emergency brake and turns to me.
“Want to run that by me again, Noor?” he asks. “I don’t mean this in a judgmental way whatsoever, but I need a little context, please. As far as I’m aware, the only guys on your radar are the assholes who are bullying you. Did something happen tonight?”
“In the locker room,” I squeak out, covering my hands with a groan. “I don’t even know how to explain what happened, but Alastair didn’t use a condom.”
“Just Alastair was involved?” Elijah asks. I drop my hands and shake my head, watching as he practically grinds his teeth to dust. “I see. I did a lot of fucked up shit as a teen, but for some reason, this pisses me off more on your behalf.”
Removing the brake, he puts the truck into reverse, careening the vehicle back onto the road before slamming it into drive. I’m too scared to ask where we’re going or what’s going through his mind as my body flies back and forth from the car’s jerky movements. That’s why my jaw drops when he pulls into a drugstore and he parks. Elijah doesn’t say a word as he hops out of the truck and walks into the store.
What the fuck. I feel as if I’ve just fallen down Alice’s rabbit hole into an alternate universe. I’m still dumbfounded as Elijah climbs back into the truck and drops a white bag into my lap.
“Elijah…” I whisper.
“No,” he says. “I don’t know what to do right now, Noor. Well, I actually do. I want to fucking kill people, and since I’m trying to be an upstanding citizen, I can’t. I actually have a weak fucking stomach, but that’s neither here nor there. If I needed to, I’d just tell Ignacio to handle it.
“What I do know is you asked me to do something, and I just told you money wasn’t a factor. So, here we are. I have so many questions, but the answers will likely have me committing various felonies on your behalf, so I’m keeping my peace. I refuse to be a hypocrite after I promised to be your safe place.”
“I…thank you,” I gulp.
“Don’t thank me yet,” he grumbles, continuing out of the parking lot to get back on the road. “I need you to check how the pill will affect your POTS before you take it. The way I understand it, your period fucks you up, right?”
“Yeah. I just ran out of my birth control a few days ago, and haven’t had a chance to go to the doctor for a refill. Rachelle and I wanted to discuss changing to a birth control that’ll limit the amount of periods I’ll have with a new gynecologist. You don’t really want this information, do you?” I ask.
“I live with Rachelle and Lili, and have for ten years or so,” he says. “I know about periods, birth control, and even the different kinds of menstrual products. These things are normal for me to discuss. It doesn’t bother me. So yes, I do want this information. I’d ask my own kid if they were seventeen…No, you know what? I wouldn’t ask. I would already know, because these will be conversations that we have, Noor. Because they’re completely normal.”
Elijah is worked up and breathing heavy, while he’s just blown my mind. My dad didn’t know any of this stuff. From what I remember, my mother bought what she needed each month, and it always embarrassed him to know anything about it.
This is brand new territory for me.
“Okay,” I rasp out. “This wouldn’t be an issue if I was taking my pills, but I’m in limbo at the moment.”
“That makes sense. This is the guys’ fault for not using a condom, and it’s bullshit that the burden of this is falling on you,” he says. “Do the research before you decide either way, okay? One of us will be in the stands from now on, and we’ll escort you out of the arena right after. If anyone has a problem with that, I’ll slit their goddamned throats.”
I think my foster family are serial killers. There’s not a bone in my body that tells me he isn’t telling the truth.
“Are you going to tell everyone why?” I ask.
“I’m going to sit on that for tonight,” he grunts. “I don’t make it a habit of lying to my family, but I also don’t want to break your confidence.”
“I’m sorry,” I say immediately. “I don’t want you to lie to them. I’m not sure how I feel about all of this myself.”
“Your Devils are fucking assholes,” Elijah snarls.
“They’re not mine,” I huff.
“Hmm. You’re under their skin, and they don’t know how to handle that,” he says. “I’ve been there. I’ll be damned if I’ll allow the past to repeat itself. We’re in your corner, Noor. I just don’t know how else to help you.”
“You’re doing enough by listening,” I reassure him. “I’ll do some research on the emergency pill before taking it. I don’t want to end up in the hospital because Alastair couldn’t take the time to wrap his dick up.”