Page 138 of The Ninth

A small gasp left my mouth as a hand wrapped around my arm. In one swift movement, he pulled me off of the floor and onto my feet. I stared up at him in shock as my body hiccupped from crying. A deep since of calm fell over me as he started wiping the tears from my face with his thumb. He looked extremely confused.

“I...I thought you left me.”

His face relaxed as he rubbed my chin. Bending down, he picked K4 up and sat him on the bed. I held my breath as he leaned against the side dresser, crossing his arms.

“I didn’t leave, Crybaby. I went downstairs and worked out. I came back up and took a shower.”

He wasn’t dressed in lounge clothes. Kenzo was the type of man that came home and put on basketball shorts immediately. His hair falling down onto his back and shoulders, silver chain and watch, fresh white tee and Evisu pants let me know that he wasn’t staying long at all. Besides his slightly grown out locs and beard, he looked delicious. Hell, even with them.

His hazel eyes traveled from the ground and up my body. Finally, they met mine. Tired of waiting around for the talk, I spoke first.

“Kenzo. There’s so much I have to say to you but the first is, I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t even understand the ways you’ve disrespected me, Cassandra. Why I’m hurt and disappointed in you. You can’t know because I refuse to believe that you would and still do what you did, shorty.”

“I do know how I disrespected you. To be so heavily respected in the streets and then have me out here at the clu—”

“I don’t mean to cut you off, but you’re proving my point. You think I’m upset because you embarrassed me in front of some niggas? Some niggas I don’t give a fuck about? They could all turn against me right now, and that shit wouldn’t bother me one bit. Fuck the money. Fuck my name in these streets. Even if I was some regular ass nigga with nothing to me, do you honestly think I would want my wife in some club, half naked, putting on a performance for some lame ass niggas? Huh, Cassandra?”

“No...”

“Was I not taking care of you good enough?” he stood from the dresser, angry. “Was it not enough? Did I lack off or something? Tell me! Because why the fuck would you sneak off in that mothafucka for any reason but some fucking money! I’ve done everything, Cassandra. Everything imaginable to make your life easier while I was gone and you still shitted on yo nigga, foo.”

“Kenzo, you did everything for me. I appreciate it and don’t take it for granted. You’re not the reason I ran off and did that... Everyone just got in my head when you got locked up—”

“When I got locked up? YOU’VE BEEN DISRESPECTING ME FOR THAT FUCKING LONG?!”

He breathed out, trying to calm himself down.

“They were just in my head. They kept telling me you were going to get out and leave me! I felt scared! I was young back then and you left me alone!”

“So, what? You went and put on the littlest shit you could find to catch you another rich nigga? You didn’t go hard and stack your money from doing make-up, you used your body to get money from pockets of niggas that ain’t as deep as mine. Because now I see that’s all you give a fuck about, Cassandra. Ain’t no telling who bought you that fucking car, because you know I wasn’t born yesterday, shorty. Ain’t no telling what you’ve been doing to get a fucking blue face from a nigga. What if I go out there and them streets dried up? I can’t flood them with drugs like how I was? I can’t afford this apartment, your clothes, hair? What the fuck you gon do if I go broke, Cassandra? Dip off on me? Search comfort and security from anoth—”

“STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT! STOP SAYING THAT TO ME! YOU KNOW THAT’S NOT TRUE! YOU KNOW I FUCKING LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING IN ME! HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME! I GAVE YOU MY BODY WHEN NO ONE ELSE HAD, HAD IT, KENZO. I’VE FALLEN DEEPER FOR YOU OVER FIVE YEARS WHERE YOU WASN’T EVEN PHYSICALLY PRESENT IN MY LIFE. DON’T MAKE IT OUT TO SEEM LIKE THAT’S WHO I AM, WHEN I’M NOT!”

I stormed away to my closet with him on my heels. Desperately, I yanked four large clothing totes from the corner, throwing the lids off. Each was filled with piles and piles of money. I thought I was helping my case, but it just caused him to shake his head, angrily.

“I’ve never in my life spent a dime from that club. I lied. I did spend that money, but only when I bought things for you! I was truly stupid starting there. I knew the damage I was causing at some point. Eventually, I was aware that you would never leave me once you got out. But I was already so involved with Tati and Kenzie. It became more to me than just that. I’ll burn this shit. I’ll give it away. Anything to show you that money, especially from The Ninth, means nothing to me!”

“You honestly think I’m supposed to feel flattered seeing that shit, foe? Each and every single one of them bills just represents a time you fucking lied to me about where you was going that night or where you was the night before. We’ve always been open and honest with each other. Now I’m supposed to swim in the money you swung around half naked for? YOU VIOLATED ME, CASSANDRA. WHAT THE FUCK YOU AIN’T GETTING, SHORTY?! YOU DON’T GO BEHIND A MOTHAFUCKAS BACK THAT CARES FOR YOU LIKE I DO. LYIN TO ME. LEAVING ME SITTING IN THAT FUCKING JAIL BELIEVING SOMETHING THAT’S NOT TRUE! YOU THOUGHT I WANTED TO GET OUT AND MARRY AND BE WITH SOMEONE WHO I DON’T EVEN KNOW? I DON’T KNOW YOU, CASSIE. YOU A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MOTHAFUCKA FROM WHO I WAS SPEAKING WITH. I’D BE FUCKED UP IF I MADE YOU GO BACK TO THAT FUCKING CLUB AND KILLED EVERYBODY IN THAT HOE IN FRONT OF YOU, HUH? THAT WAY IT CAN PENETRATE THROUGH YOUR THICK ASS SKULL THAT I’M NOT FUCKING WITH SOMEBODY THAT HAS LITTLE TO NO RESPECT FOR OUR FUCKING RELATIONSHIP!”

He shook his head quickly. His hand smacked the wall, causing me to jump. After looking into my eyes, he let out a deep breath. “I’m gone.”

“What?” I asked, hopping up.

He walked out of the room, through the connecting bathrooms, and straight to the front door. Both I and K4 quickly trailed behind him. As he slid his shoes on, I grabbed his body.

“K3...we can fix this. We love each other too much. You have to believe me when I say I’m sorry. It was my last night! I was leaving forever.”

“You was leavin because I was getting out of jail. You five years too late, shorty.”

His hand rested on the knob after unlocking the door. Tears fell from my face as I realized nothing I could say or do would keep him here with me. That as quickly as I got him, I lost him.

“I’m leaving because I can’t even look at you, Cassandra. Every time I look at yo ass I see the way you was showing off for them niggas. That one in particular. I just stood in there and yelled at you while you were sitting. You know that’s not how I handle you. I needa leave before I disrespect you any more than I have. That’s what you do for someone you love.”

The door snatched opened. I watched his big frame slip through before slamming it shut. The only thing he left behind was his scent. The same scent from the bed when I woke up.

K4 collapsed onto my feet, whining. Dramatic as fuck, just like his mammy. I rolled my eyes, picking him up and cuddling him into my chest as I wiped my tears with my free hand.