Page 73 of Mercy & Malice

All I have to do is get through the day. But every time I turn around, I’m reminded of how my reality has been altered—whether it’s by Troy lingering, Micah hovering, Luca watching, my mom checking in, or Ivy giving me a sympathetic glance. It’s her turn to “make sure Brooke isn’t losing it” while sitting at lunch, and I can’t stomach it any longer. “Want to skip afternoon classes?”

“Sounds good to me.” She glances over her shoulder. “Are we telling anyone before we go?”

“No, Troy will inform Batman and Robin of every move we make.”

Ivy laughs. “They mean well. We all do.”

We’re in the parking lot when I admit, “It’s too much. Do you know how many times my mom not-so-discreetly peeked into a classroom? Like I’m going to be snatched during passing period.”

“She’s worried. It’s understandable. But I get it. The constant vigilance can feel smothering.” Ivy nudges me. “So tell me if I am smothering you too and need to take a step back, please.”

“Will do,” I say.

“How about we grab something to eat at Cracked Pirogue? They have the best food.”

“Sounds good to me.” Anything sounds better than sitting in the school lunchroom.

We arrive at the quaint café and find a booth near the back. Troy enters after us and sits at the bar. I’ll give the man credit, he’s physically always around yet stealthy compared to Micah and my mother.

By the time the waitress comes back with our drink order, I see Micah entering with Luca right behind him.

“Seriously, y’all had to come here?” Ivy asks Luca as he slides beside her and Micah moves next to me.

“This is my fave, and you came without me. So, I should be asking you that.” He tells the waitress his drink order as Micah says he wants water.

A few minutes later, he slides out of the booth. “Be right back.”

I watch him as he enters the hallway with the bathroom sign above the threshold. I’m lost in thought when Cain appears beside the table. “Much better than the crap they were serving today.”

Cain drops on the seat beside me.

“Micah was sitting there,” I say, sudden unease rising by the second.

Cain scans around but doesn’t get up. “I’ll move if he comes back.”

He’ll be back. Micah always comes back. I shift, attempting to put space between us and my shoulder presses against the wall. I’m trapped. Inching closer to Cain, I say, “Let me out.”

Cain doesn’t hear me as he laughs at something Luca’s saying. He’s an unmovable wall blocking my way. There’s a barrier on each side of me that feels like they’re closing in.

I think I hear my name when I look up to see Ivy watching me. Her lips are moving but I can’t understand what she’s saying.

Pulling at the uniform tie around my neck, I find that it’s not there. Yes. I took it off already when we were in the car, and yet I feel the fabric tightening around my throat. There’s no way out.

Hands clutch my shoulders as I struggle against them. I beg, “Let me go.”

Cain lurches back, clearing the way as I stagger out of the booth.

Micah. His hands steady me as I look up at him. He’s back.

He’s saying something, but it’s muffled. His alarmed gape matches the others staring at me as I struggle to catch my breath. “Sorry. I just⁠—”

There’s no explanation even if I did have enough air in my lungs to speak.

Hurrying to the bathroom and away from curious gapes, I grip the sides of the sink and wheeze in oxygen. “Five things,” I mutter, attempting to quell the anxiety.

Ivy slowly enters the bathroom as she cautiously says, “I’ll leave if you want, but I wanted to see if you’re good?”

“I’m fine.” I turn the water on, cup some in my hands and splash it on my face. She moves closer as I dab my face dry.