Page 29 of Mommy

The smile that peeks through on my lips is quickly hidden before Derek joins me in the car.

“You don’t have to make me lunch.” I point out.

“Did you make your own?” Derek asks, one of his brows rising.

“Uhm—no.”

He shrugs, his wide frame shaking with a stifled laugh.

“That settles it then. Looks like you’ll have to eat what I made you.”

To that I have no answer. So I just remain silent and watch as the houses fly by outside the window. All the perfect lawns and the clean and shiny windows, the decorated front doors and porches.

The shelter comes into view after about half an hour and my breath expels with relief when I see the front gates still closed.

Next to me, Derek shakes his head, and when I look over I can see a smile on his lips.

I don’t register leaning over when the car comes to a halt. It’s like my body is on autopilot and no longer checking in with my brain before executing movements.

I’m already halfway there when I realize that we are not in his house anymore and therefore our little game of house is over.

Shit.

Blinking away the emotions welling in my chest, I try to lean back without it being awkward when a large palm cups my face on one side.

Derek’s breath is warm on my lips when he speaks.

“The car is basically still my property.”

The excuse is all too clear, the offer in it.

We can keep pretending.

All I manage is a nod.

And then his lips press to mine.

His hand is still on my cheek, thumb stroking over my skin as his tongue brushes over the seam of my lips.

It feels safe. To have him hold me. As if his palm is enough to shield me from the rest of the world. As if it’ll hide me and keep our little game from being detected.

Derek doesn’t take the kiss further, but there is still color uncurling in my stomach. A flutter of pink and yellow and turquoise that sends a tingle running through my body.

“Have fun at work.” Derek murmurs against my lips, his face a breath away from mine.

“You too.” I whisper back, desperate to stretch out this moment because I know what will come rushing back when it ends. I know what life I’ll have to go back to when I stop pretending. All the broken shards of my real life will start to cut back into me, and they will keep cutting until there is nothing left of me but bloodied ribbons. I want to hold on to this moment for as long as I can. I want to bottle up this feeling, and get drunk on it the next time I feel my world crumbling around me.

“Ready?”

It’s a simple question, just one word, but it’s enough to give me the strength for a nod. I still feel cold and abandoned when he pulls back and looks at me from his side of the car.

His next question however…

“Isn’t that your colleague?”

I snap out of it. No. I’m catapulted back into reality, because whatever we are playing here in this car, it’s not real. But my work is. And I don’t know how to explain any of this to either Liam or Shelly. My head whips around to scan the street and sidewalk, but I come up short.

Derek’s chuckle confirms that there’s no one to see.