Page 7 of Relapse

I could feel myself unwinding completely. Where the fuck did I even fit here? Did I even have a place in Noah’s life? And why did I want so badly to find a place that was permanent? My fists clenched. I needed to know where we stood, or I might just implode.

A feeling on the back of my neck made me turn.

It was Damian. Observing me from a short distance away. Watching me watch his brother. How long had he been there, witnessing me spiral? He sipped his drink, giving a little tilt of his head as he scrutinized me.

He saw me for me and that made me want to retch. He had heard me state aloud how I cared for Noah. He had to know that watching this was hell.

This was hell for me.

I stewed, but I remembered what Jace had told me in the car: “Don’t let him analyze you for too long.”

I didn’t need him dissecting me further like the good little detective he was. Prick. And he better not come up and talk to me either. I wasn’t in the mood.

I couldn’t even think straight. Seeing Delane there with Noah, dancing with him, pressed so tightly against his chest like it was the easiest thing in the world—brought such anger and jealousy to my soul that I couldn’t even process it. If Damian Hansen had been in front of me, I probably would’ve sunk the knife into him, just to ease the whirlwind inside my mind and finish the mission so I could leave.

I took a few measured breaths to regain my composure. I wasn’t done with Noah—not by a long shot. He’d regret bringing that girl here after tonight was finished, I’d make sure of that. Before I left this evening, I’d cash in on that “punishment” drunk Noah was going on and on about from before. He’d be learning the meaning of that word today, this much was certain.

The lights dimmed for another song and I wanted to be finished with this nonsense already. I needed to find a secluded place to change my mask and figure out how to get close to David without alerting Damian or Jace. Neither of them would be keen on my plan.

Luckily for me, I knew the house well enough from my time sneaking in to see Noah. Keeping one eye on Noah in the middle of the room, I eased myself towards the main entryway, hoping to bypass the guards and retreat somewhere more private to change my mask. I chanced a glance back towards Damian, and he was heading to the dance floor, in the general direction of Noah and his redhead. I took the opportunity to blend in further, exiting out of the ballroom to the right, aiming to cross over to the other side of the house. I headed towards the conference room where Noah and I supposedly held our meeting about stocks. I knew I had to be quick—I couldn’t afford any partygoers or security seeing me snooping around.

The room wasn’t locked, thankfully. I entered, sliding the dragon mask into the waist band of my dress pants, underneath my overcoat. It fit perfectly there, much like a gun concealed behind the back. I touched my right pocket instinctually, checking for the knife. It was there, right where I had left it. Turning, I headed back for the door, careful to limit my touch around the room.

I was just about to exit and return to the ballroom when I saw them. A pair of shiny handcuffs glistened atop a corner desk near the window. I didn’t know what possessed me to grab them, but I did without so much as a pause. Maybe it was because the key sat potently inside the little lock. Or maybe, it was because I could picture how perfect they'd look around Noah's wrists. Either way, they ended up in my back pocket. Secure.

When I exited, I was ready. The white skull mask efficiently covered the majority of my face and head from view. I had no fears that I would be recognized by anyone.

I scoured my gaze around the room. Damian was near the middle of the dance floor with David. Jace was nearby, watching them as well from afar. My eyes continued their trek across the dancing bodies and covered faces.

And then, just as the sun met the horizon, my gaze found Noah. Somehow. Amongst the crowds and hundreds of guests, I was pulled to him magnetically. He was making his way through the dancers a bit frantically, searching. I scowled as I watched. I was sure that it was Delane he was attempting to locate. His face was strained and he navigated clumsily, bumping into guests as he went.

I couldn’t help how I watched him. I wanted him so badly to understand how I felt. I was beyond the point of pretending anymore. I had put on a facade my whole life, and Noah was the only part of this existence that felt worth living for.

He suddenly stopped, mid stride, head turning from across the crowds. I swore he heard my thoughts. We locked eyes before I could worry about him recognizing me.

But some part of me knew he had done so already.

My heart pounded in my chest, and for the first time in a while, I felt the sharp pain of fear. Noah had seen me. And in the skull mask, no less. The look in his eyes told me he knew. He could tell it was me. And he wasn’t supposed to know anything tonight, else his safety be put into question.

The idea of him being caught up in this scheme, made me feel a type of fear I’d never before encountered. A helplessness.

David and Damian had already made their move to the center of the room where Jace met with them. The signal was to be given at any time, and here I was, glaring at Noah from across the crowds as he stumbled about searching for that Ariel-haired bitch, and worse—getting caught for it.

I had to make a split decision. Either stay where I was and risk Noah confronting me in the skull mask, or make my way off of the dance floor and change back into my first disguise before facing him. I decided on the second option.

I turned on my heels, weaving through the masked bodies with precision. I knew Noah was pursuing me, so I needed to be quick and stay ahead of him. I clipped around the corner where the ballroom flooded into a long hallway, the soft lights extending into a sitting room just at the end. In the shadows, I shifted the dragon mask out from the back of my suit jacket and put it on. The skull mask was shoved back behind my dress shirt. I looped back around from the hallway to the other side of the dance floor, exiting onto the terrace outside, blending into the guest traffic seamlessly.

Luckily, there were multiple ways back into the dancing area—this I knew for certain. I walked the perimeter of the garden, searching for a new door to go in. As I passed several of the windows, I could see Noah making rounds, trying to find me. I re-entered, just in time to see him collapse into a seat against a far wall. The lights were low, shadowing his face against the colors of the dance floor just enough to bring his dark eyes to a shimmer as he glared about. My breath hitched. He was irresistible.

Look no further, Raven, I thought. I am here.

I approached slowly, from behind his shoulder, taking care to bend down next to his cheek.

“Hey babe,” I nuzzled his neck, enjoying the sharp tense of his muscles. My breath danced along his ear. “Miss me?”

The taste of Noah still clung to my tongue as I slipped out of the closet. I had to push away the burning desire in my body at feeling him come undone in my mouth. Fuck, he tasted sweet. I wanted nothing more than to continue ravishing him in that closet after hearing his pitiful little pleas for more.

But I had business to attend to.