“Go dance, Silas,” Jace dismissed me. “Let the adults have a chat.”
Honestly, I was grateful. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could’ve stood there, interacting with that bastard. Even the single word felt like a chore.
“Yes sir,” I added, noticing how David continued to eye me over his shoulder as he disappeared into the crowds with Jace at his side. I allowed my eyes to bore down into his a tad longer than I should have, hoping with every fiber of my being that he could feel the hatred emanating from my body into his.
Once they were out of my range of sight, I turned my attention to the dance floor, scanning for Noah. If he was in here, he would have definitely heard them announce my name.
The space was full, though. More so than I expected. The sound of the loud chatter nearly drowned out the music accompaniment, and the room was packed to the brim with disguised crowds shifting along the floor, swaying, laughing and intermingling. There wasn’t much room on the dance floor, or in the area otherwise. The event was packed, so much so that some were opting to exit into the gazebo outdoors in order to find a space to get comfortable.
I was about to give up hope in finding Noah amidst the other masked patrons when a flicker of movement just outside the ballroom caught my gaze. Everything seemed to sharpen into focus, and I saw him, bounding down the main stairs like his life depended on it. He was dressed in a navy colored suit and tie, cleanly shaven, but hair deliberately messy in his typical style. A dark, thin mask fastened snugly around his head.
My pulse kicked up in pace almost instantly. Seeing him all dressed up and “disguised” sent ripples of heat through my body. He looked fucking phenomenal.
I was thinking about how to approach him when I noticed he was heading straight for the doors outside. Keeping to the sides of the room with plenty of people in between us, I followed, watching carefully. He exited the estate in a rush.
Where are you going little Raven? Taking flight already?
When he came back through those doors, I was shellshocked.
Noah returned with Delane, hand in hand. She was dressed head to toe in white, looking like some innocent little fairy—sickeningly so. Worst of all, Noah led her in, proudly, escorting her through the room and nearing the dance floor.
I retreated back into the crowds like a wounded animal, my blood boiling beneath my skin.
So this was why Noah couldn’t spend time with me today. Not because of the event. Because she was here.
The Noah I knew would have probably skipped dancing all together, but this Delane-obsessed Noah wanted to parade his little pixie around, taking her boldly on a date without a care in the world.
“Fuck!” I grit out through my teeth. Clearly, my threat hadn’t deterred her either. She didn’t seem to be afraid of entering the Hansens’ home or being in the center of the crowd with Noah. As it was, she stood off to the side of the dance floor with him, clinging to him like she was drowning, practicing a two step with the finesse of a fucking duck.
I took an abrupt turn to the bar area, cutting the line and heading straight to the counter. I didn’t usually resort to alcohol to calm my nerves, but I deemed this a necessity.
“Whiskey,” I demanded. “Double shot.”
The worker said nothing, just poured and handed me the glass. Good choice. The people in the line didn’t complain either. They just gawked as I downed the glass and left the remnants on the counter for the bartender to clean up.
I wiped the back of my mouth and headed to a different vantage point. Noah was on the dance floor now, twirling Delane around like Prince Charming. He smiled at her and I burned inside. Not because he was happy. Happiness suited him. But I was coming to terms with the fact that this kind of happiness was never meant for me.
I wondered if I’d ever truly see it.
With this pick-me girl, everything about Noah’s expression was free of stress and tension. He was relaxed. He was openly affectionate without hesitation.
I hated that she got his smile. It should have been mine, and I more than wanted it—I ached for it. This longing was deeper than anything I had felt ever before. More so than my need for Noah’s body.
What I would give…or take…for that carefree smile.
Every fiber of my being was twisted around the thought of Noah, this pull towards him that I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to. I couldn’t help it. I was caught up.
Unintentionally, he slipped past every defense I had without trying, breaking my barriers and exposing my innermost desires. Leaving everything raw. Clearly, he wasn’t as tangled in this feeling as I was. He moved like smoke I couldn’t catch.
I watched as Noah twirled Delane, spinning her into his arms. The way he looked at her…I swore it carved something out of me.
I wanted to be the one he unraveled for. I wanted to see him fall apart beneath me, and rebuild him piece by piece until there was nothing left of him…except what belonged to me.
He was mine to ruin. Every inch of him, every whimper, should answer to me.
And yet, there were still parts of him that I couldn’t claim or control. Noah’s body didn’t lie to me. But that genuine, unguarded expression didn’t lie to Delane either. Just what the fuck was this?
Seeing them together was worse than the lie he told me. Or kept from me. What the fuck ever. Seeing them was confirmation that he had feelings for someone else. I’d honestly rather Noah be fucking her on the side, than this. Instead, he shared a secret with her, more sacred than anything he’d let me touch. This interaction was intimate. This was meaningful.