Page 35 of Offside

That was awesome.

Totally mellowed me out to hear I had a tear in my MCL and would need surgery.

Oh, and that I was likely out until the playoffs, if we made it.

My mom had already called twice, asking if I’d be recovering at home with them–she was just eager to have me home for Christmas next week. I told her I wasn’t sure if I needed to be close by to the team’s doctors, but honestly…it was so dumb–I just didn’t want to be on the other side of the country from Metal.

We wouldn’t actually see one another, and the time difference would only be three hours, but still. I liked the idea that he was somewhere close by…ish.

Fuck.

It had been haunting my brain for weeks now–I wanted to meet him. I wanted to see that face I already knew was pretty, and the idea of him coming over to keep me company while I recovered was too appealing–maybe I could swing that.

Metal had been so comfortable with us recently, and yes, he was a little insecure tonight, but only because he thought I was upset with him, and I wasn’t.

He was just as wrapped up in all this as I was, so maybe…

Maybe he’d be okay with just a few baby steps.

Fuck–was I ready?

It would be such a massive break in my routine–I mean, I’d be telling him who I was. I’d be offering my identity to him and then hoping he’d want to come over and meet me.

And that thought–that scary thought that’s kept me locked in my closet for twenty-seven years–was suddenly so comforting.

Because he’d be with me.

I could touch him.

In the non-sexual way, too.

“How are we feeling?” my nurse, Tammy, asked, smiling that too-wide a smile at me as she walked in. “Any pain?”

“None,” I chuckled. “Only the good drugs around here, so just a little stiffness, but no pain.”

“Good,” she hummed, smiling sweetly at me. “Anything I can get for you? My shift is over at midnight, and you’ll get a new pre-op nurse before then who won't let you eat, so anything?”

“Not hungry,” I said, mostly out of fear of hospital food. “Can I have my phone, though? I had it when I got here, but they took it away from me when they were doing all the scans and everything.”

“Sure, sweetie,” she beamed, floating over to the pile of my personal stuff across the room to rifle through it.

The team had called my parents, and they were on their way now, but I hadn’t had any visitors yet. I heard through my doctors that a few of my teammates tried to see me, but that I was either loopy or in scans, so they couldn’t let them in to see me.

And honestly, I'd been a little out of it until now anyway–I wasn’t sure I'd even registered that any of them were there.

Tammy handed me my phone and offered to get me something to eat again, but I declined. I had surgery in the morning, and my cutoff was midnight, but I wasn’t hungry at all.

I waited for her to leave before turning on my phone. I expected a text wall from Metal after my hours of radio science after getting hurt, so finding no new notifications was weird.

Look, I knew the man I was seeing well enough to know he'd freak out, even when I told him not to. Not having a single message from him was weird.

I figured maybe I just didn’t have the notifications, but when I opened up our chat, it was gone.

No new messages…and no old ones either.

And the only reason our old ones would be missing would be if–nope.

Had to be a glitch.