Page 50 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

Mary, meanwhile, had discovered an item upon a household account which she did not understand. Mrs Reynolds explained it, and Mary asked several further questions before making a note in the little book she had brought with her.

I had thought her very well prepared for marriage already. Apparently she intends to leave nothing to chance.

By the time we had finished, I felt we had accomplished a great deal. Elizabeth, however, still had several matters to discuss with Mrs Reynolds, and a note to answer concerning a servant who wished to visit her mother. She remembered the mother had been ill for some time, and asked whether a doctor had been sent for, and offered to pay for it from Pemberley’s accounts.

I watched her with considerable admiration. There were so many servants at Pemberley, she had been mistress here for only a few months, and already she seemed to know them all, and their histories too, and care for them deeply.

Later, when we were alone, I told her that I did not think I could ever manage a grand estate like Pemberley. Or Rosings, though I did not say the name aloud.

Elizabeth gave me a knowing look, as though she had heard it anyway. “Neither could I, without a great deal of assistance,” she said.

“But you know what to ask. And you seem to like knowing it all.”

“I like knowing that people are comfortable, and that the house is running as it ought. I am less fond of discovering that I have given two people contradictory instructions.”

“Have you done that?” I turned towards her.

“Certainly. Mrs Reynolds was very kind about it, though the two footmen who almost came to blows over the matter were apparently the talk of the servants’ hall for a few days.”

I was relieved to hear she was not quite so infallible as she appeared.

Still, I know I could not do what she does, not on so grand a scale. I would try to do my part properly, but there would always be another room I had forgotten, and somebody waiting to ask me about something I had never considered. Even Netherfield was rather grander than I should choose. At Longbourn, it seemed possible to know what was happening throughout the house. One could hear somebody laughing in the next room, or go to find a person without first asking where they might be.

I suppose this is an odd preference in somebody who has lived at Rosings all her life, but I have had a great many rooms for as long as I can remember, and very little pleasure from most of them.

Kitty sent her drawings to Mrs Gardiner this afternoon. She had wrapped them carefully, then unwrapped them to examine one of the sleeves again.

Elizabeth advised her to send them before she discovered a reason to begin the whole set afresh.

The parcel has gone, and Kitty has spent the remainder of the day wondering whether she ought to have included a different drawing.

I hope Mr Ackermann likes them. I have become quite attached to the gown in which I should be able to reach for things.

4 August

A letter from Richard arrived this morning, at last.

I recognised his writing before the servant had quite reached me, and was obliged to remind myself that there was no need to snatch it from the salver.

He has been consulting my uncle, as he intended. My uncle wrote to James that Lady Catherine had deliberately injured my health, and that it was necessary to place her where she could do no further harm. He was not given the whole account of her confession.

I can understand my uncle’s reluctance to commit all of it to a letter. I do not think I could have done so myself. But James appears to have decided that what he was told cannot be true, because Lady Catherine assured him that it was not.

Richard did not express it quite so simply. He wrote that James considers our aunt’s account deserving of greater attention, and believes my uncle has allowed himself to be influenced by people whose feelings have overcome their judgment.

I found myself gritting my teeth as I read that part. I suppose I am one of those people. Perhaps Richard and Darcy are the others.

My uncle has sent a trusted man north to speak to James directly, and also to give instructions directly to those who have charge of Lady Catherine. Nobody is to alter her circumstances upon James’s authority. Richard particularly wished me to know this.

I was glad to have the information, although I should have been much gladder had the letter included the day upon which Richard intended to return.

He asked after everybody, and wished to know whether Luna had found another gentleman whose coat she might climb.

I looked down at her. She was sitting upon the corner of the letter, making it difficult to read the last few lines.

I told her that she was remembered very kindly, but she only began to wash her ears, ignoring me.

Mr Byerly called with his sister later in the morning. They call very regularly; Elizabeth has become quite friendly with Mrs Matthew Thurston, and Mr Byerly insists he will never have enough time to learn all he can from Darcy, though he always finds time during the visits to spend an hour talking to me. I put my letter away before they were shown in, though I found myself thinking of it several times while they were with us.