Page 12 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

“It has helped,” I said. Mary and Mrs Reynolds had given it to me only a few days ago, and already the scar tissue on my forearms felt softer. I dared to hope the scars might one day fade.

Mary looked down at her gloves. Darcy laid a hand on the Captain’s shoulder.

“Spears, that would be very kind of you. Miss Bennet does indeed have an interest in herbs and salves; no doubt the opportunity to discuss their usage with a trained physician would be most welcome.”

The Captain turned to Mary. “I shall see you on Monday, Miss Bennet.” He bowed to the rest of us, then stopped at Kitty, whom he had not yet met.

“My youngest sister but one, Miss Catherine Bennet,” Elizabeth said. “Captain Spears.”

Kitty kept her promise not to flirt. She gave him a polite greeting and nothing more. In the carriage she told Mary she was lucky, then fell quiet. Elizabeth smiled at her. Later Darcy called Kitty into his study. She came out pink-cheeked and told us he was pleased with her conduct of late and had given her five pounds to spend. She wanted to visit the milliner in Lambton tomorrow, and Georgiana offered to go with her.

“Anne had better stay to keep Mary company when Captain Spears calls,” Kitty said. I agreed. I shall need the dressmaker myself soon; several of my gowns have grown tight. I gave Mary a few I had never worn. They needed only hemming for her. Kitty needs new clothes herself, and I did not begrudge her the trip to Lambton.

19 April

Captain Spears came yesterday as promised. In the stillroom I let him examine my arms, then he asked Mary to show him how she and Mrs Reynolds made the salve. Mary tried to give Mrs Reynolds all the credit, but the housekeeper would not hear of it.

“Miss Bennet is very skilled with herbs,” Mrs Reynolds said. “She has taught me more than I have taught her. It is a pleasure to work with her.”

Mary blushed at the praise, but soon had her attention back on the Captain. He wore an old coat to spare his uniform from the work of the stillroom.

“I found the recipe in my grandmother Bennet’s journal,” Mary said, producing a small leather-bound book. “She set up the stillroom at Longbourn and taught Jane, Lizzy and me. She gave me the journal before she died.”

“Have you tried all the recipes in it?” Spears accepted the book and turned a few faded pages.

“Not all. There are a few ingredients Mrs Reynolds and I cannot identify. Perhaps you can tell us how to make a tincture of—” She went on to name plants in Latin, quite beyond me. I found a seat and opened my diary while they talked.

The Captain remained until after luncheon, then went back to Thurston Hall for dinner. Mary watched him go with a look I did not dare tease her about. He returned this morning with a satchel of plants, and she and Mrs Reynolds took him into the stillroom. I left them there. As I passed Darcy’s study, I heard Elizabeth’s raised voice and stopped. At Rosings I had learnt the usefulness of listening without being seen.

“Darcy, you’re being ridiculous,” Elizabeth said. “Georgiana will be seventeen in August, and I mean to give her a birthday ball. You need not attend if you do not wish to!”

I could not hear Darcy’s reply. Georgiana would be seventeen in August; Kitty had been out since she was fifteen. At the Thurstons’ party Georgiana had watched the dancing closely, though she said nothing of wishing to join it.

“I shall concede the ball,” Darcy said at last, “but I still think the house party a bad idea.”

“You are sulking because Georgie is growing up,” Elizabeth said. “I am not trying to marry her off this summer. But Mary, Kitty and Anne ought to have the chance to meet eligible gentlemen. Captain Spears has already found his way here twice to talk with Mary. I want them to have time to know someone before anyone thinks of marriage. Did you not have weeks to come to know me at Netherfield?” She laughed, and I risked a peek through the door. She settled on Darcy’s lap and put her arms around his neck.

“I did fall in love with you at Netherfield,” Darcy said. The kiss he bestowed upon her then sent me hurrying away before they saw me.

I am glad Elizabeth wants us to choose for ourselves. But Richard is in France with Wellington’s army, and I cannot imagine falling in love with anyone else.

20 April

Darcy swore over the newspaper at breakfast. We all looked up.

“There has been a battle at Toulouse,” he said. “Napoleon had already abdicated, but neither Wellington nor Soult knew. Soult has withdrawn from the city. All those lives lost for a war already ending.”

I gripped the edge of the table. “The Colonel?” I asked.

Darcy’s face changed. “It will be days before the casualty lists are published, Anne.”

I knew what lists he meant. If Richard’s name was among the dead, what would I do? I could only wait.

Before breakfast was done, a horse came hard up the drive. Darcy went out and returned with Captain Spears, already in uniform for his journey. The Captain looked towards Mary before he spoke.

“I have been called to London,” he said. “Wounded men are being sent home after the battle.”

“We have no word of Colonel Fitzwilliam,” Darcy said.