Page 20 of Bleed Me

CHAPTER FIVE

The trip to Texas was almost a metaphor. I was traveling—on the road—and running from my past. The men making me do so were almost like my split personalities, taking craved power from me. I was on the road, traveling through the guilt of circumstances out of my control. I may have left behind the only true home I had ever known, yet I was about to find a home like no other. My mind had splintered in the bathroom at the gas station, while on the road, yet it was setting me on a needed path; a journey that would be my biggest challenge.

A haunted dream would help point the way…

This time, I didn’t wake in a barn, after leaving Delilah and Viola behind. I was still in Delilah’s car, leaving her brother in the front yard, solemn and confused. Driving as fast as I could, there was no outrunning my imagination. I kept picturing what I might have done to Delilah. I imagined her soft hands pushing against my bare chest, begging me not to rip her virginity from her. I bit through my lip as I pictured some horrid version of me plowing into her innocence.

I could somehow relate to how awful it must have been for Delilah, and then a familiar feeling of failing someone caused a tormenting pain in my heart. I couldn’t bear it. It was making me so sick inside that when I swerved around a curve on Highway 94, and Delilah’s purse tipped—spilling out her belongings, I happily opened the bottle of sleeping pills Cole had told me about. With a leftover bottle of water, I swallowed them all.

They didn’t even have time to take effect before one of my personalities took over. It was mind-blowing to witness his rage when I had never met him before.This angry Kenny called me a pussy, pissed that I was bringing about his end. In the dream, my newfound madness was incurable, so again, I ran the car straight into the big, sturdy, old oak tree.

After the crash, I wasn’t with regret. In fact, I was thankful that I would never be able to hurt anyone again.

The silence was nice.

The creaking of the tree stopped. The car ceased groaning and settled into its new shape. Fluids eventually stopped flowing. The fire taking form alarmed me as my eyes kept trying to close. I was completely mangled, trapped in her car with no chance of escaping, which was the purpose of the crash, but I didn’t want to burn alive. That’s when it dawned on me, the pills. They were working and numbing me. I would soon sleep through the agonizing pain brought on by fire. I smiled as I thought of Delilah and wondered if she would ever know the gift she gave me in the end with those pills.

As my eyes began to close for the last time, the flames consumed the hood of the car. I understood the fire’s power as it grew. It made me think of my personalities and how they ate and destroyed everything in their path…

For committing suicide, I believed I was going to hell, or was already there, as I saw her little hands reaching into the fire for me. I looked up and saw a little girl with green eyes, just like mine—

I jerked awake in a bedroom I had never seen before, lying on what appeared to be a queen-sized bed with an abundance of white-cased pillows under my head and around me. The room was inky blue. There were no windows, and I could almost feel the walls closing in on me. It felt like a dark cave. A trap. The only light came from a lamp on a long, dark brown dresser. There was a dark blanket over my legs, which seemed to be another shade of blue. I quickly kicked it off and scrambled backward over the pillows, almost crawling up the wall behind my head. The wall touching where I had been hit had me wincing in pain. “Shit.”

From a corner in the room, a soft female voice told me, “You’re okay. You’re okay. I’ll get Diesel.” Her little dark shadow rushed to the door. When it opened, there was loud music and a rowdy crowd of men nearby. As soon as the door shut, the sound faded to barely audible.

After pulling my hoody over my head, I slumped back against the wall, wondering where the fuck I was. I grabbed my chest to see if I was on fire because I could still feel the heat from Delilah’s engulfed car. My fingers not moving easily had me noticing my hand was bandaged up. The gas station’s mirrored glass has done a number on me. Although I guess it was me who had done a number on it.

The door opened, letting in light from a hallway, but closed after Diesel entered. “You’re finally awake.” He sat next to me on the bed. “Had me worried.”

I could smell liquor on his breath and grinned. “Not that worried.” He had been drinking instead of taking me to the hospital.

“Eh. No need for your drama. The Prez had you seen by a local doc. Besides,” he chuckled, “I can’t help it if everyone is excited to see them some el Diesel. Wanna party?”

“Nah, I don’t think so—”

“Great! Let’s roll.” Diesel yanked on my arm and dragged me up to my wobbly feet. The earth spun a little. Delilah would’ve had me in the ER by now. Diesel? Not-even-close. “You need some whiskey.”

I was dragged to the door. “Umm, I’m kinda dealing with a concussion right now.”

“Stop being a weak tit and pick your poison.”

As soon as we reached the end of the long hallway full of closed doors and toward the loud music, I was greeted with a room full of bikers, smoke, barely dressed women, and cheers. “Hey! There he is! To the new Prospect!” I was either joining a pack of vampires or Texans that liked to avoid the sun. The expansive room had no windows, but did have monitors on the upper part of every wall. On them were multiple views of what looked to be the compound surrounding the building.

Looking around, the walls were a light brown, once again recalling my thoughts of a cave. Parts of them even had cool looking rock. If I were a bear, this place would’ve been perfect for a long hibernation. There was soft lighting that matched the bar vibe. At the far end of the room were three pool tables and arcade machines. Pac-Man? Galaxy? These guys must be as old as Diesel. In a corner was a stripper pole that seemed to be movable. No joke. In the ceiling was a metal track that traveled to the middle of the room.

Along the wall to my right were several huge black couches and big comfortable lounging chairs, good enough to get a sound night of rest in. Also to my right were swinging doors that looked to lead into an industrial kitchen. To the left of the doors was a long bar with enough stools for any bar’s Happy Hour. The bottom part of the bar had the same rocks as some of the walls. Past the bar, to the left, was another hallway. Beyond the hallway entrance was a jukebox.

A fierce-looking man with an eye patch approached with his hand out. “Never have we had a ‘Prospect’ before ever even meetin’ him. Ya better be honored, kid. I’m Dagger.”

Feeling a little lost in some sort of alternate universe, I shook his hand. “I’m Ken—”

As if he were the bull in a herd of elephants that he had every intention of keeping in line, his hand tightened on mine and his arm curled to yank me to him. “Nope.” Our bent arms were the only thing separating us as he spoke in my ear. “You are now James Gunn Dalton.”

Talk about ripping the band-aid off with no warning. Dagger was preparing me for my new life, and the new leader in my life. My eyes found Diesel, only to see him raise his hands as if he was no longer in charge of me.

Air hissed from my lungs as shock tried to take over, but what that shock didn’t know is I had just met someone strong enough to take charge of me until I was strong enough to stand on my own.

Not releasing me in the slightest, Dagger added, “I’m your VP. You do as I say. Kenny is gone. You’re now home.”