Page 37 of A Sweet Destruction

And there went my temper. A frustrated growl flew from my throat as my hands curled into fists. My foot might have hit the ground in a stomp.

Ford didn’t move a muscle, completely unaffected. He knew I wouldn’t actually hurt him. I was tempted to shove against his chest just to prove him wrong, but that would require touching him. I’d done that once today. It didn’t need to happen again.

He took several seconds to just assess me, looking at me with renewed interest. I couldn’t quite blame him. I’d probably do the same if I found out he was keeping this big of a secret from me. It didn’t stop his perusal from burning, though.

And boy, did my skin feel like it was on fire with every pass of his eyes over me. That tingling only increased as he said, “Peter warned us that the Bond would come back, likely stronger. Do you think it’s wise to repress it until it makes me do something stupid? Possibly harming one of us?”

For someone who didn’t have any experience with the Bond, Ford sure knew how to phrase things so that it awoke, shoving control into its feral little hands.

“I’ll be just fine,” I countered. Though I realized too late that was exactly the answer Ford was looking for.

He leaned in, pulling close with interest. “Please, tell me why that is. Tell me what you did to get good at resisting it.”

“That’s none of your—”

“In fact, I think it is my—”

“It won’t be for much longer.”

Tension pulled tight between us as we both went silent, mine brought on from saying something I shouldn’t and Ford…well, Ford’s seemingly from horror.

I couldn’t stand the way he was looking at me, eyes wide and jaw slack, so I took the coward’s way out and turned away from him.

All it took was one little puff of air, nothing more than an exhale from Ford, for me to panic and slip under Shadow’s neck.

It was a quick scramble onto Sky, then a click in the back of my throat to send him running.

It wasn’t until I was several yards away, only able to scrape in one unsteady breath, that I realized that Ford hadn’t followed me. I didn’t turn around to look, but I would have been able to feel him if he was there.

The Bond agreed, rumbling unhappily at the growing separation.

“Just run,” I said to Sky, dropping out of my conscious mind and into that hazy part where my body took over. I knew it wasn’t all that beneficial. I’d been scolded enough times by our base therapist to know better.

Sometimes I just couldn’t help it. My thoughts just felt so heavy and I needed to step away and let time pass in rare moments of silence.

When it wasn’t so good was when I used it to escape emotion. I was unabashedly doing so now, trying to shake off the look on Ford’s face when I’d alluded to getting more suppressant.

He had to know this was for the best. But did he need to look so hurt by it?

By the time Sky had tired himself out, I was feeling marginally better, the endorphins doing their level best to boost my mood. When we rounded back into camp, Ford was still standing in the same place I’d left him.

Shadow was off to the side munching on grass and Sky took off towards her, forcing me to perform a nearly acrobatic feat jumping off his back unless I wanted to join him in nuzzling his mate.

Ford barely seemed to register my approach, only blinking back into his body when I was within a foot of him.

He looks sad. Fix. It.

I opened my mouth, unsure what I was even going to say.

Ford beat me to it. “What did you do to suppress the Bond?”

An answer, full of sarcasm and dismissal, would have been so easy to let fly. What was harder was to rise above my shame. To rub the edge of Ford’s flannel through my fingers—I’d put it on halfway through the ride, needing the scent more than the warmth—and answer, “I would give it a piece of what it wanted. Just enough to appease.”

Ford nodded, his eyes seeing right through me. Seeing too much. I so desperately wanted to stop him, but I was frozen to the spot. “And my clothes?”

Oh, of course. Of course. I couldn’t meet his eyes while I said this. It was a miracle I was saying anything at all. “They smelled like you.”

“And that,” Ford broke off with a rough swallow, “helps you?”