Page 40 of Highland Flame

“No’ exactly,” he said, stopping and looking back at the door as if he didn’t want anyone to hear them.

“Go on,” she urged him.

“I was – I was born to a whore,” he spit out. “So, ye see, I’m just like Avianca.”

“What?” Shocked to hear this, Yvaine sprang to her feet. “I canna believe it.”

“It’s true,” he told her, looking like he’d just lost his best friend in the world. “I am naught but the bastard son of a whore. I grew up in whore houses across Scotland as my mathair took me with her every time she moved from one place to the next.”

“Oh, Cam. I am so sorry.”

“I ken I have a bad reputation for visitin’ brothels, but it is only because that is where I feel the most comfortable. Ye see, whore houses are the only place I ever kent as home.”

Yvaine didn’t know what to say to this. It truly was a horrible secret. Still, she promised him she would not judge him, and neither would she. After all, her dark secret was so much worse. “So, this has somethin’ to do with the reason why ye didna want to take Avianca.”

“It does,” he admitted. “My childhood didna exist, since I was forced to grow up so fast. I kent things from an early age that most lads didna find out until later in life.”

“Oh, that must have been horrible for ye.”

“Please, I dinna want yer pity,” he hissed. “My mathair loved me, but she realized it wasna right to keep me with her, so she did what she had to do. It was no life for a child. No’ with the things she had to do to make a livin’ to raise me. She kent I would be better off with a family. A guid family. A real one.”

“She gave ye up then?” asked Yvaine, her heart about breaking for this man.

“Aye. When I was only six, she told me she was wrong and bein’ selfish by keepin’ me there with her. I hadna had any proper education, and everythin’ I knew, I learned from experience.”

“Ye’re no’ sayin’ ye . . . I mean, no’ that young. Did ye actually . . .” she asked, hoping he wasn’t speaking of sex.

“Nay! Of course no’,” he said. “It wasna like that at all. My mathair gave me a ring that was once my faither’s. She told me she wanted me to have somethin’ to remember her by. But when I was to go to my new family, I ran away. I stayed hidden in the woods at first. I didna want to leave my mathair and my home, no matter how bad it was. Still, I kent if I went back home, she’d only send me away again.”

“How horrible for ye.”

“At first, it was. But it wasna long before the MacKeefes found me. They are a guid clan and took me in when they discovered I was an orphan.”

“But ye werena an orphan, Cam. Ye still had parents,” she pointed out.

“I did. However, I didna tell them that. I was so angry with my mathair for no’ wantin’ me, and with the faither that I never kent, that I didna want to ever think about them again. I wanted no memory of them, and even gave the ring away to another little boy who I found fishin’ in the loch one day.”

“Is yer mathair still alive?” she asked curiously.

“Nay.” He looked down and shook his head. “When I became an adult, I decided I was wrong in runnin’ away. I desired to make amends with my mathair. I wanted it, but it was too late.”

“She died then.”

“I didna ken where to look for her at the time. I went out searchin’ one brothel after another, hopin’ to someday find her.”

“Is that why ye are always in brothels?” asked Yvaine, finally starting to understand something about this mysterious man.

“Aye, and nay. Ye see, it’s true what everyone says that I like the lassies too much. I do have a strong lustful side, and I guess it is in my blood.”

“I wouldna say that.” Yvaine didn’t think this was a family trait passed down.

“I visited brothels across the land and, of course, spent more and more time with the – well, with the lassies while I was there.”

“Did ye ever find yer mathair?”

He nodded slowly. “I did. It was about five years ago, after I had long since given up hope. I accidentally ran across her.”

“Where was she?”