Page 92 of The Cheerleader

“It’s a start.” That was probably the wrong thing to say because I feel her stiffen slightly, but after a few steps, she relaxes again, and we walk to West Campus to her dorm in silence, not exactly comfortable because I have too much anticipation revving me up, and so does she, but it’s not unpleasant.

She tries separating from me, but I hold onto her and walk her down the path to the back door. She turns when we get to the small, dimly lit entry and looks up. Seeing the slight quiver of her mouth makes blood rush to my dick.

“Thanks for walking me home.” Her eyes twinkle like the stars, and all I can think is that I don’t want to let her go, don’t want to leave her in this state again. It’s not just that I’m horny. I’m hungry to have her romantic sparkle, her kindness, all her attention, like a starving man struggling to survive.

“I’m going to kiss you.” I move close until our bodies touch, setting off an arc of awareness we both feel. She breathes in and out without saying anything, and I know she wants me to kiss her but doesn’t want to want it. I know she’s struggling with her conscience because of Liz, and I wish to hell I could make that problem go away.

But all I can do is make good on my promise to kiss her. So I lower my head and cup her face with my hand and touch my mouth to hers. And it’s like I’m touching the stars.

This isn’t a goodnight kiss, not a casual peck or a tease. I’m too hungry for that. I devour her lips and groan at the taste of her, sweet and spicy and real.

Our tongues touch and sizzle. My mind buzzes as my need for her builds because I’m even hungrier than before. Pressing into her, I slide my hands to her ass and pull her hips to mine. I want her to feel what she does to me.

She moans, and I could swear I hear pleasure, but she pulls back, ending the kiss and putting her hands on my chest between us. Still, I hold on, not willing to lose contact.

My breathing is ragged, and I stare at her, noticing her breathing is erratic too. My heart races under the touch of her hands, and I know she feels it, understands what she does to me. I know she likes it, wants it, and is afraid of it, like wanting me and having me will make her a bad person.

And that’s not who she is. I know that, and I need that. It’s who she is and why I’m obsessed with her.

“I have to go inside now.” Her words are shaky.

“I want to come with you.” I don’t bother hiding my agenda. It’s too late anyway since my stiff dick took care of eliminating any surprise.

She bends her head and sighs, almost leaning on my chest, but then she gathers herself and looks at me with that honest stare that I love. Love? No, that I admire.

“You know I can’t… be with you. Not while Liz⁠—”

“I told you Liz and I are not⁠—”

“But Liz doesn’t know that. And you know it.”

“Fuck,” I mutter. She’s fucking right. I swipe a hand through my hair and gulp in some cold air.

“Besides, I can’t figure you out. You confuse me. I need more stability and direction in my life, not more confusion.”

Surprise that Liz isn’t the only problem on her list forces me to back up.

Fuck.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Susie

I raise my head from my Physics for Mechanical Engineering book when the phone rings. I wonder who would be calling after eight on a Friday night. Liz is out, but she said she’d be home early, and I believe her. Tomorrow’s homecoming, and we’ve prepared hard to make sure we perform well for the full stadium.

Reaching for the phone on the third ring, I stretch the cord back to sit on my bed. “Hello?”

“Susie, I’m so glad I caught you in.”

“Mom! Of course. Is something wrong? Are you and Dad still coming up tomorrow for the game?” Guilt assails me because I haven’t gotten their tickets yet.

“That’s why I called. There’s a slight change of plans. Your dad has a job interview in California, and he has to fly out tonight, so he won’t be coming to the game. But don’t worry, I’ll be there. I called your Aunt Mabel; she’s coming with me.

“It’ll be good to see you.” I pause while her news about Dad going to California loops through my head. “I’ll miss Dad. California. That’s⁠—”

“My fingers are crossed that he gets this job, Susie. He’s been out of work so long—almost a year.”

“You’d need to move to the west coast.”