Page 89 of Afterglow

“She does.” He’s confident and unwavering in his assessment, like a man who’s lived a long life married to a woman he loves very much and might know more than I do. “That’s why she’s so hurt right now. If she didn’t love you, none of this would matter.”

“She said she needs space, that we both do, and I don’t even know what that means.” Is eighteen hours long enough? It feels like an eternity, physically manifested, and it’s tearing me apart to let her stay even twenty miles away at her own house.

“If space is what she needs, then you give it to her. But not too much…” He pauses, long enough I can’t stand the silence and finally turn to look him full in the face. He gives me an apologetic smile, and I know his next words are going to be hard to hear.

“When we lost Sarah and Sam…” He blows out a rough breath. “It was so hard. All of it was so hard. The pain of losing a child—I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But you had to endure that and the loss of your wife at the same time.” He holds my gaze, and as much as I wish I could look away, I can’t. “And I told Delia if we weren’t careful, we were going to lose you too.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he gives his head a small shake and presses on.

“You were broken in those months after they died. Lost. Neither of us knew what you needed, and we were terrified to give you too much space or to hold on too tightly. But we were sure of one thing—we needed you, and we were not going to lose our son in addition to our daughter and grandchild. So, we let you grieve as best we could, and when you said you were considering a move—”

“You told me no,” I say, remembering that day with a clarity that only comes with moments that change your entire life. I remember the day I moved to the ranch the same way, just like the day I married Sarah, the day she told me she was pregnant, the day they died… It’s the way I remember meeting Leanne, and our first night together, that fateful phone call, and when I felt our baby girl kick for the first time.

“We told you no,” he repeats. “Because we loved you too much. The time for giving you space was past, and the time for holding on for dear life had come. Because that is what you do for your family. That is what you do for the people you love.”

“So you’re saying…” I say, trailing off.

“That sometimes it’s hardest to see the truth of people’s love when we’re in pain, so we need them to prove it to us—by showing up, by holding on, by not letting go.”

A fist tightens in my gut. “But I let her walk away…”

“You respected her enough to let her have the space she needs. And even in doing so, you’re still here, showing up. You’re preparing for her, for your daughter, even as we speak. Even if she’s not here to see it, you’re still holding on to them. And if you give it a couple days—” I groan at the prospect of waiting that long to see her and talk to her, and he chuckles before continuing. “Or even just a day, I think you’ll find the space was good for you both. Then you prove to her you’re not going anywhere by showing up for her in person.”

“What if it’s not enough?”

“You’re enough, Bryce. I promise you are.”

My head falls back against the wall, and I squeeze my eyes shut tight against the onslaught of emotion, choking on the sob that claws up my chest. Before I can register what’s happening, Alex grabs my shoulder and pulls me into him.

His grip is firm, a father holding his son, and I recognize how badly I needed his words and his example. He’s here, proving to me how loved I am and showing me exactly what it looks like to be a man who will never give up on his family.

Today, I’ll give Leanne the space she wants, but tomorrow… Tomorrow I will be there, showing up for her exactly like she deserves, because I love her and she needs to know she is enough too.

She is everything.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Leanne

Icalled in sick this morning.

I couldn’t find the will to drag myself into the office. I haven’t spoken to a single soul since I walked out of Bryce’s house Saturday afternoon.

The past two days have felt like an entire week. The worst week of my life. Worse than when Craig left. Worse than when I was heaving my guts up ten times a day.

It feels a little like being back there as I lie in a heap on the couch, my phone full of messages I haven’t read or responded to. The family group chat is full of pictures from the baby shower I can’t bring myself to look at. Alex, Delia, and Becca have all checked in—I’m positive Bryce told them what happened—and even seeing their names on the screen unsettles me. My heart leaps into my throat any time it rings, out of fear it will be Bryce and then in disappointment when it isn’t.

He texted me once yesterday and it sent me into a tailspin, which led to a thirty-minute crying session in the shower until the hot water ran out. But I’ve looked at it no less than a hundred times since.

Bryce

You are enough.

I have the thread open now, phone sitting on the back of the couch within reach, while I stare out at the swirling snow beyond the window.

Am I? I’m not sure I’ve ever been enough for anyone—just as I am. Instead, I’ve either fallen too short or given too much. But who I really am is somewhere in between. Craig wanted more of me than I could give him. With my family, I’ve always had to be more than just me. I had to be the eldest daughter, the sister who took care of everything, the reliable and responsible one.

But with Bryce… Everything is different with Bryce. It’s always been different with him.